When does your attraction fade for your partner?

You know when you first meet someone and you start dating? You cannot get over how hot this person is. It's almost as if you cannot keep yourself from being all over him/her.

Well, how long does that attraction last for your partner before you start to think they are "just average looking"? Or how long does it take before that period of lust dies out?

I've been in a relationship for a little over 6 years and my man still compliments me on how beautiful I am (almost daily). And checks me out sometimes as if its his first time seeing me.

He tells me that this isn't normal and usually guys after a few years of being with their girl, don't admire her the same way they did as when they first met. Why does this happen?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stream of consciousness, first thing that comes to my mind answer:

    Attraction fades when you become commonplace

    a typecast model acting out the lines from every boring sitcom

    where the wife nags the husband and the husband drags his heels

    putting your man in this perilous perspective where he feels the vertigo of falling into a trap, the trap made by generations before us, unhappy couples showing their asses to their children, and their neighbors, and making everyone hate the idea of a bad relationship.

    When we get on that precipice with our toes hanging off, we slip from the place where we could be lifelong partners, into that other fifty percent of couples that end in divorce.

    That's when a man loses sexual desire. When he's confronted with the possibility of unhappy nights for the rest of his life.

    So, to conclude, he's not thinking the rest of his nights are going to be so bad. Something about you makes him content, and he doesn't even see the possibility of some edge the whole relationship can drop off of.

    He's fine being him, and perfectly fine with you being you, and it sounds like you're happy with him. As long as you two are together, may you always feel this way.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I figger everyone is average-looking, unless of course they have some sort of festering head wound, or a bulging pimple on their forehead the size of a third eye. This apparently works out well, as most of my relationships have been very long-terrn

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  • sometimes people fall in love and their partner is more beautiful to them each day

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What Girls Said 3

  • Because it's inevitable that you're to get comfortable with someone and get used to their appearance but if it's true love that shouldn't be a problem whatsoever. Lust turns into love and the love that keeps you with that person is the love not for someone's appearance but rather love that goes beyond appearance is something much deeper. And this love is far more stronger than love at the beginning of your relationship when it's all about lust. True love develops over time. When you see old couples holding hands and being completely in love? That's the love I'm talking about here. When you see the person you don't see how they look, you see the person inside for who they really are. But it's wonderful if your guy still compliments you, he's a keeper :)

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  • I know this is less time than you and your boyfriend have been together so it's not exactly helpful, haha. I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and it still feels like it did in the first two weeks (except we're more comfortable expressing our attraction, obviously). If anything I think he's MORE attractive now. Sometimes I look at him doing something mundane like brushing his teeth or cooking something and I'm just overwhelmed with wanting to jump on him :P

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  • I heard those feel good emotion leave within 6 months to 2 years and after that ..that's when the work starts but the hormones I guess start to fade or come out less and less with that person...then it's more a mental thing than a pheromone thing

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