What to do when the girl you're talking to online is way fatter than their profile pics show?

I agreed to meet this girl for a date, but I found her on Facebook this morning and she is way fatter than her profile pics make it seem on the dating site. She even has her body listed as average on there, which it definitely isn't. What should I do? I don't mind having bigger people as friends, but as gf's no way. I live a lifestyle that you need to be in shape to do with me. I'm also just not attracted to fat. She gained a ton in 3 years, if she looked how she looked in 2009 I would def be excited to meet her, but now I don't know how to end this gracefully. She has my cell phone number.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bail. She deceived you. This is a serious character flaw. If the shoe was on the other foot, she wouldn't waste a millisecond on you. She would decry internet dating as being for losers.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Just go on a date and have fun! Try to get to know her but without giving her signs that you're into her. Just hang out with her, act normal, but no flirting or no subtle touching. After the date, tell her you had a good time. Don't tell her you'll call her, don't kiss her, don't ask for a second date. If she asks for a second date, tell her you'll let her know when you have time.

    Don't give comments on her looks though, the fact that she put those pics up and told you her bodytype is "average" is an indication that she's quite insecure about her figure. Just hang with her as friends, since you don't mind having "bigger" people as friends, but if she comes on to you, let her know (in a friendly way) that you don't feel there will be something more between you two.

    So then you won a friend and didn't hurt her feelings!

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  • I don't blame you, I would be pretty annoyed as well. I would honestly say that something has come up and that you can't go.

    I wouldn't try being friends with her either. No one goes on a dating site looking for friends and it would also send out a mixed signal (that you want to take things slow). I'd be more insulted if a guy went on a date with me, then wanted to be my friend to only find out he's dating a new girl a few weeks later.

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  • Yeah slowly back away from that one. It's not fair for someone to lie about themselves and expect to find something genuine. If she confronts you about why you're not tenting/talking/whatever as much just tell her that you're keeping your options open...Which is trueish...Telling her that her fat is the reason why is a terrible idea lol.

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  • Ouch. Well I commend you for being honest without being a total ass. You may get girls come here and get defensive because it is a sensitive topic. From their perspective, it's such a touchy thing to have a guy speak that way about weight if their weight is not together. Don't take it personally!

    I think you should just bring up a new girl you're dating (even if you're not) and talk about how awesome she is because that will make her think she needs to back off.

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  • I would still go on the date, you may end up making a friend out of it. Maybe talk about the lifestyle you have for yourself and bring up those type of things that you want to do. Who knows maybe she looks better in person, maybe she is working on losing those lbs.

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  • You're mean :/

    Just show her a disgusting pic of you .. She won't be interest to attend for the date.

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    • Mean?

      The girl was being deceitful by posting pics to give a false perception ...don't act like she didn't do anything wrong. :-X

    • Ok but its still mean..why can't be friend or something ?

    • Because that is what we have our bro's for. To hang out and do sh*t with.. Female friends usually involve a lot of talking..and its never about anything, if it is, its about their ex's or something else we really don't care about..we deal with our problems. although I have female friends.. I can understand why someone wouldnt' want them as friends.

  • she deceived you which is bad,

    on the other hand if you didn't didnt care so much about something so shallow this wouldn't be an issue.

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  • Welcome to the world of online dating.

    Tell her the truth.

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  • Theres a reason your between 25-29 and single.

    If your not attracted to bigger women that's your preference.

    But don't run away why can't she be your friend?

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    • That's not true, I have had plenty of girlfriends. Way to make a big assumption. This girl is tooooo attached to be my friend.

    • too attached? its over an online dating site!

      i never said you ain't had girlfriends I said there's a reason why your single.

What Guys Said 3

  • She put up a skinny picture of her because that is what she likes. If she cannot be happy about her appearance now then she's insecure. If she lied about that what else could she be lying about.

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  • Let go of her just like any other girl. She wasn't honest upfront so...that's it. I couldn't trust her long term so end it definitively before it gets any worse.

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  • You could be bluntly honest with her. Tell her you're interested in being friends, but only that.

    Or you could meet her for a date, and you won't have to show surprise since you know what size she is, but you could then tell her that she wasn't honest with you, and make out that it's her fault that you're not interested. (That is, tell her it's because she's dishonest, not because she is large)

    Or you could meet her and talk to her, and see how it goes. It could be that she put on weight for a temporary reason (like sickness) and will soon be down to a slimmer size. And she'd have a lot more attachment to a guy who stood by her when she porked out, than one who was only ever interested in her thin body.

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