Guys, what stops you from getting in a relationship with a girl?

me and my "guy" have been talking for almost a year and last night, we had one of our many relationship talks and I asked him where we are now and he said we are in the "fixing stage". apparently, before he gets into a relationship with me, he wants us to fix the issues we have like the fact that we argue over dumb stuff and other things like him being flirtatious with girls sometimes "jokingly". so basically my question is, if a guy is willing to work through things and if he really wants to be with a girl, will the little things like that stop him from making her his girlfriend. I'm just asking because I think what my guy told me was a bullsh*t answer. I may be wrong but I wanna hear the opinions of others. thanks


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This situation has "move on" written all over it.

    Bad sign #1: You've been talking for a year and you're still not in a relationship...

    Personally, I wouldn't wait any more than six months. If you haven't figured out whether or not you want to be with someone within that amount of time, then they're just not the right person for you.

    Bad sign #2: You guys think you should "fix things" before you get into a relationship...

    If things need fixing before you're even in a relationship that means it's just plain wrong to begin with. People don't typically change, that's part of the reason why you should find someone who's already a good fit for you without needing change. Also, if it takes that much work just to get things started between you two, imagine how much work it would take to keep the relationship going. Not worth it imo.

    Bad sign #3: You argue a lot...

    This means you two clash on a personality level, which is not something you want in a relationship. Your personalities should be complimentary to each other.

    Bad sign #4: He likes to flirt with other girls a lot...

    If he was only interested in you, this wouldn't be happening.

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    • To be perfectly honest it sounds like he's just keeping you around as someone to spend time with until he finds the girl he really wants to be with.

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    • I think you should tell him whatever you're feeling. If it was me I'd say something along the lines of "I'm not gonna be your backup plan anymore, see ya!"

What Guys Said 2

  • That's not exactly reasonable on his end. Relationships aren't perfect, people aren't perfect. When you said he'll jokingly be flirtatious with girls, it makes me think he has some commitment issues. Because he says he wants to "fix" that before he'll have a relationship with you (which in my opinion already sounds like you have :)). That somewhat translates to "I want to be able to explore my options first, not be tied down". If a guy really likes you little things won't matter. I've committed to a girl even though there were some profound issues on the line. So I think you should confront him with this, it doesn't make sense.

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    • Yeah agree with him, it doesn,t make sense. You should comfront him properly and know where its leading to.

    • he claims that the ultimate goal is for us to be together but we need to fix things in order to actually be together. I even asked him if we will be seeing other people too and he said he won't and he doesn't want me to date other guys too. then I asked him "doesn't that make us exclusive then?", but he said he doesn't want to label anything..i don't know what to do

    • You can't be together for a year and not label anything. That makes it sound even more like he's afraid of commitment. Which I'm pretty sure is the case. Talk to him about it, because it's certainly not fair towards you. If he really isn't ready to make this commitment he'll just be wasting your and his time.

  • Surely you're already in a relationship if you've been together a year.

    What have you been doing for the last 12 months? Just talking?

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    • yea, I don't think he knows what he wants

What Girls Said 0

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