Girls, how long of a time do you typically need to cool off before you finally tell your man why you are mad?

I see and hear it all the time that when a girl gets mad at her boyfriend she will step back for a bit to cool off before she finally tell her boyfriend what the problem is. Meanwhile the guy is left wondering wtf is wrong with her.

So typically how long do you need to cool off when you are mad at your boyfriend do you need before you are ready to tell him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends on what he did to upset me. I usually come right out and immediately tell him what he did wrong that upset me. However, I do need a cooling off period before we can discuss it. But I make sure he knows what he did. That way when I've cooled down, we can have a calm discussion. But it's not fair to him for me to just get mad and not tell him what he did.

    If he did something small, I'll talk to him later that day. Once my boyfriend made me so mad that I needed a week of zero contact before we could talk about it. So, it varies.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I don't cool off. I get whatever is troubling me off my chest the next time I see him. Otherwise Id die if I didn't...

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  • A week and/or possibly never. I keep it all in. - I won't be mad at him anymore but I just won't tell him just because I'm sure it's not that important nor would it effect the relationship.

    I mean, by telling will just create more friction. How is he going to fix? OI rather have things be left alone.

    Note* Unless it is very important, I'd want to talk it out.

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    • Talking it out and having him understand why you were mad I think is important step in a relationship. you two have to know what makes you mad and what lines not to cross. and its natural to cross these lines from time to time in a relationship, and if he has and you never tell him then likely he will keep doing it without realizing what he's doing wrong. so this is why telling him is important. you would agree communication is important right?

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    • even still if it makes you mad. you really should just speak up. or else try not to get mad the next time these petty small things happen.

      Are you the type to blow up after awhile of holding in your anger?

    • I throw things out of anger (Not around when others are there). I don't snap at people or anyone I care about like that though.

  • I personally don't need any time to cool off, as soon as I see him or get in contact with him I'll address the issue with him.

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  • When I get mad, I'll take an hour sometimes, and weeks others, It depends how mad the girl is and her personality.

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  • I tell him what bothers me as soon as it does.

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  • I don't need time to cool off, I need time to think about both of our povs, I need to figure out if I'm being an idiot and how to make the situation better or understandable, I think before I speak. I won't take time off to vent unless there's absolutely nothing I can do after trying several times, usually by this point it would be over.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Hahaha I hate that. My girlfriend usually tells me within a few hours. She says she'd rather take the time to mull it over so she's not blowing things out of proportion. It sucks, but at the same time I appreciate it because by the time she brings it up she's usually over it. She just wants to bring it to my attention.

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  • Lol yeah I faced that problem before. But honestly a bigger problem is a girlfriend telling you she's not mad anymore but keeps treating you like sh*t for days and days while swearing she's good now. I hate this, because it's very hard to deal with. For example you try to kiss or cuddle or initiate sex and she's going to shut you down in very subtle but cold way to get back at you. Most girls I know do that, they'll make you pay big time in very mean and hurtful ways. Lots of girls don't realize or prefer ignoring they are doing it on purpose, but it's extremely damaging to relationships because it's very aggressive but in a covert and disruptive way. Also, it's been proven that weakening the physical intimacy is terrible.

    I know personally this invisible wall erected by past gfs when they were mad though pretending everything was fine or over with hurt me very deeply every time. It's hard to recover from, it kills your confidence and comfort with your partner, you start dreading initiating physical contact because you fear that cold sense of rejection instead if a feel good and happy sharing of kindness. I very rarely see men do that. Men explodes, and that's bad too, but it's not covert, you see when it starts and when it ends, and you know where you stand. With many women it's impossible. They say one thing but act the opposite, you are left second guessing and losing that needed connection over lomg stretches of times. It hurts a lot and men tend to just staying away for good because they get tired of being held emotionally hostage.

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