Am I settling? SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE

OK so about a week and a half ago I met this guy. We've been on 2 dates and he's really nice and I know he really likes me because he pays for everything, we text every day, I slept over at his house and he didn't try to sleep with me and he's made plans with me for Canada Day (on July 1st fyi...so plans far into the future). Now, I'm not so sure how I feel about him. I think I have a crush on him but he really isn't my ideal person I pictured myself dating... I think I might be influenced by my friends opinions now because I'm kinda confused

I always pictured myself with a really good looking, funny guy who has a really outgoing and out there personality and this boy isn't that. He was shy when I first met him, but now that he seems more comfortable he is more outgoing so I'll give him that. I think he's funny but he's still a little awkward. Also... I'm kinda worried he has no friends. Like he texts me one day about how he was going to the beach and he went alone lol. I don't know I thought it was kinda weird. I even asked him about it and he said he grew out of his high school friends. I know he's friends with his roommates but he only has 2, I like one of them but I don't know I find it weird. Also he is a BAD DRESSER. I told him this lol (not in a mean way, like kinda poking fun. trust me I didn't hurt his feelings) and he was kinda just like "meh whatever" lol. Also, I think he's kinda cute but not gorgeous which I wish he was. As shallow of me as it is to say, if he were gorgeous and dressed well I would be way more into him. And I feel like if I let him meet my friends that they would talk **** behind my back or make fun of him :/ and yeah I don't wanna be embarrassed

Now, my best friend told me I'm settling and that if she were in my position that she would feel like it was a waste of time. I get that but its not like I'm trying to marry this kid. I'm really not looking for love or anything super serious. I kinda like hanging out with him right now and he's grown on me. She also thinks I'm settling. Then my other friends are happy for me and want to meet him and say there's no problem if I like him.

I don't know what my problem is. I think I'm just not used to the idea that I would like someone like him. Also, I've never had a boyfriend before (lol OK I know we're not boyfriend and girlfriend and I'm not trying to sound cocky but he really likes me and I see it headed that way). but anyway, I don't wanna just hang out with him if I'm settling.

CAN ANYONE OFFER ADVICE?


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • What is your reason for never having a boyfriend before? Do you think it may possibly have to do with commitment phobia and you're making up excuses so you feel better about not wanting to date him? I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I have commitment phobia myself and I know how this all works. Quite possibly you just are finding faults in him so that you don't have to date him. I know this, I've done it too. I'm not saying it's what is going on with you, I'm just saying that I see some characteristics of commitment phobes. Also, you said he's "kind of cute." Well at least he's cute. He doesn't have to be some model. His personality may make him even more physically attractive, this has happened to me. Don't give a damn what your friends think. What they think shouldn't matter. It's what YOU think. Just continue to see him and if you still feel this way, and still feel that there is no way you would want to date him, then just be friends with him (if he's fine with that). Good luck.

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  • Ok how many people actually end up with georgus mates? Not many, at least not to the viewing eye of the public

    You gotta be realistic here. Try to see the good in him and focus on the things you like about him. If you don't feel its right for reasons other than attraction, that's fine, but otherwise, you are being shallow.

    I will tell you, I had a ideal guy, we all do... then I met the guy I can't stop thinking about. When I first met him, I liked his smile and thought he was really nice but just average looking, I mean, good lord he still wears flannel and t-shirts underneath... but over time, I have grown to love HIM for who he is and now I find him seriously sexy. If he were to like me back, I'd be over the moon, if I don't end up with him, I feel I would be settling because he is my perfect match

    Just think about how time can change, you can get cancer and lose your hair, or have to get a breast removed etc, would you want a guy to leave you because your looks changed?

    He sounds like a sweet guy, if you like him for him, keep going, who cares what other people say, they are not in the relationship

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