Long distance relationship or new girl that lives closer?

I've been seeing my girlfriend officially now for 2 months, but seeing each other for about 8 months. She lives 2 hours away and we see each other maybe once every month, twice in a month if we're lucky. While we weren't official I met this one girl on a dating site who lives in town and we've been just talking off and on for about 4 months now. We finally met and now I think I really like her. How should I handle this situation or how do I know who is right for me?

Updates:
Broke it off with my girlfriend. It wasn't fair for her or anyone else. I told her I really hope we can be friends because we were friends before our relationship and that we ended on a relatively good note. Thanks for you help!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Blaaaah you probably shouldn't have made it official with the girlfriend until you were sure she was the only one you wanted.

    Anyway, basically my opinion is that if you're really "meant to be" with someone (you can substitute whatever phrase makes you puke less, like "perfect for someone" or "ideally compatible with someone"), you're not going to be interested in other people. But you are. You've been seeing each other for 8 months and you're not at a level of closeness that makes you genuinely only want to be with her.

    Are you happy with her? Like, imagine the other girl wasn't in the picture. Do you feel like your girlfriend is truly great for you? Or are there certain things besides the distance that make you incompatible, things that would end up making you not 100% invested anyway?

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    • I'm happy with her, but I almost feel like we're more friends than bf/gf. We never argue but there isn't a spark when I see her or butterflies. New girl on the other hand, there is.

What Girls Said 8

  • well you would have a better picture if your girlfriend was closer...i know that's harsh but its true. making time in general is hard when your busy, balancing a relationship on making time for someone its hard work, its doable but its harder. if you really like this local girl then maybe you should giv it a try. two hours away isn't that terrible but it can get old. maybe you should stay friends with this new girl and see what more she's about. I don't think its fair just yet to make a decision. even though I'm sure you know what you want, you just need to digest it a little

    best of luck!

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  • Well most people will tell you to choose the new girl who lives closer to you but let me tell you something, she might not be the right one for you...

    Iam in a long distance relationship and we barely even see each other am actually jealous that you guys see each other twice a month, id rather see him every few months than being with any other guy and I know for a fact that I can't go on with him in my life.

    It all depends on your feelings for your current girlfriend, I honestly would recommend you stay with her but here's the thing if you actually love her you wouldn't be going out and talking with this new chick and you wouldn't have been on this online dating site to begin with... Why are you on this dating site anyway... Don't you have a girlfriend who gave you her trust.

    So how do you really feel? Do you love her? Do you think you'd rather be with her than any other chick even if she lives a 100 hours away? Do you think you will cheat if you continue on this relationship?

    Plus tell this new girl about your girlfriend and see how she reacts... Or better yet just listen to your guts and choose who you think is best for you... Trust me you will know... Her face just actually popped in front of you perhaps lol

    Good luck!

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    • I was on there while I met her. I ended the online thing when we became official. I just figured it was another way of meeting girls.

  • Like the wise Johnny Depp once said: "If you fall in love with two people, choose the secone one. If you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second." What I'm trying to say is neither one of you are happy about only seeing each other once or twice a month. If you're not happy in a relationship, there's no reason to stay in it. I think, in this case, you really need to ask yourself who you care about more. Do you love your girlfriend enough to deal with the lack of physical being with? Or do you see a future with this new girl? The best of luck to you!

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    • I figure if I like someone else when I have a girlfriend, then a long distance relationship isn't for me. I hope me and my girlfriend stay friends. If one day things work out that we live closer to each other then we'll go from there. Until then, I think I owe it to both girls me and my girlfriend become just friends. Things are great when we're together, but if I really like my girlfriend, then how come I like this new girl so much? I like that quote by the way.

  • Long distance relationships are terrible lol well in my experience even an hour away stinks

    How long have you been seeing this new girl in person?

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    • I met her once and I can't stop thinking about her.

    • Show All
    • yeah let her hang a bit. let her come to you on this one because after declining 2 days then she should have gave you an available one

    • sounds good thank you! I know whenever I text her, she texts back so that might just be the way she texts. shy and wants me to initiate things because her last relationship ended bad

  • Your current girlfriend.

    You're taking a risk with a girl that you don't know much of. If the other girl turns out to be a psycho, you're screwed. 2 hours away is nothing, you act like it's an ocean apart. Why is seeing her once-twice a month that bad for the time being?

    Besides, why were you still keeping in contact with this girl once you guys started dating?

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    • I stopped talking to her once we were official. It was up until last week when the new girl messaged me on fb about hanging out. When she asked if I had a girlfriend, I said I did. She didn't seem too bothered. We hung out one night, and I can't stop thinking about her.

  • Your girlfriend is 2 hours away now, but doesn't mean that she will ALWAYS be that far away. One of you can move closer, or even better (if things go well) you might move in together! Anyway, I'm rushing too far ahead here. But all I'm trying to say is you should be with the one who makes you more happy and fulfilled. Besides, this new girl is from a dating site. In my opinion, a nice girl wouldn't be on a dating site. What, she can't find anyone in her town? :S Or maybe no one likes her. Maybe she is a bad person but is a different person to you. Well, if she is trying to be someone she's not, the real person will eventually come out.Anyway, these are only speculations. Just think over this situation 10 times before you decide anything.

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  • 2 hours away?! You have no idea how lucky you are. My boyfriend whom I've known and loved for about a year lives in Wisconsin while I live in Texas. My advice is you should see who you REALLY like, the girl you already know or this girl you don't really know. Plus, who knows if she's interested in you too.

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  • current girlfriend:

    -you know you like her

    -she likes you

    -only downside is that she's 2 hours away (which isn't even really that bad)

    new girl:

    -you like the fact that she's closer in distance

    however...

    -"i think I really like her" ... its just a bit of attraction.

    -you don't know if she likes you back

    -i don't think she'll be comfortable with "stealing" you away from your current girlfriend.

    If you dump your girlfriend and go after the new girl you may learn that she doesn't like you back. then you're stuck single. if you keep dating your girlfriend and then start seeing the new girl on the side "just as friends" but you fall for her (and she likes you back), your girlfriend is going to feel cheated on. and the new girl is going to have to deal with the fact that its possible you'll find another girl while you're in a relationship with her.

    i'd stay with your girlfriend.

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What Guys Said 1

  • New chick sounds better... with the long distance chick as time goes on you will grow tire of her

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