How easy is it to scare a guy off in the early dating stages?

my friend is freaking out that after the second date she has scared off the guy. I doubt it but she's worried about it.

-they met 2 months ago. he initiated talking to her on Facebook about a month and a half ago. they talked a bunch and he asked her out on a date two weeks ago. they walked around/hung out at a lake and went to lunch afterward. from what she tells me it went well and it was easy talking to him. last night they went on their second date (played tennis, went to dinner, and went swing dancing). she says it went great except sometimes he didn't talk much. she says that he's kinda quiet though.

-she's worried that he's not interested because he hasn't really flirted with her any. and when they text he'll reply about 2-3 times and then stop replying and maybe will wait a day before texting her.

- I just think he's shy and not very talkative. plus I think he might be afraid of scaring her off. he's 24 and she's 19. and he's friends with her older brother (they went to college together).


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Even though she's 19, she's still in her teens. Which means he's probably afraid not only of appearing to come on too strong to her; but of her pa running at him with the shotgun.

    Therefore, he's trying to take things slow. Tell your friend she has nothing to worry about...yet.

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    • haha well actually he's met her mom already. on the first date for lunch they joined her mother and brother at The Cheesecake Factory. and her mom approves (which is saying A LOT because she hated my friend's last boyfriend, broke them up, and told her that she couldn't date until she was 21)

    • All good reasons he's terrified to make a mistake. He doesn't want to become a repeat of Guy #1 for any reason.

What Guys Said 1

  • hes probably just shy

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    • thats what I'm thinking. thanks :)

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't know. In my experience, when things are good, communication increases. When she's texting him, what is it about? Does it always require a response? Do they at least talk on the phone?

    When Did Text Become The Primary Tool for Communicating!

    And then we analyze the texts do death. Why did he not text to my 150th text?!

    I don't think he's shy. He was pretty brazen about connecting on Facebook and asking her out. It is not consistent with him all of sudden getting shy. She has a reason to worry. Maybe she should lay off the texting. Let him reach out instead.

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    • well, when you've grown up with cell phones I think texting just comes naturally. Facebook & texting are the only ways they've communicated when they're not in each others company. she doesn't constantly bombard him with texting. and by "shy" I mean shy with talking since she says he's more of the reserved quiet types in person. when they've got something to talk about, he talks. but he's not chatty. he'll text her after a day of no contact...but I guess she's used to how her last

    • relationship was where they could text all day or Skype for 6 hours straight. when her ex started backing off & not texting as much, not replying, etc she got worried. 3 months of that & she finds out he was cheating on her.

    • Then I could see why she would get worried, even if there's nothing to worry about. I just think these things should be easy. Simple. I like you, you like me. We talk, we don't talk, no need for alarms. I'd tell her not worry, until he gives her something to worry about and enjoy the process. The minute its not fun anymore... on to the next!

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