Why don't girls like to text first?

This is something I've noticed in the vast majority of girls! One girl I talked to a bunch would say "text me tomorrow" and I would say she could text me first, but she would still ask me to text her first. You always want us to text you first and I don't understand why! So: why?

I feel like I should tell you that doing this makes me feel like you don't really want to talk to me. Only when a girl texts me first every once and awhile am I sure that she really wants to talk to me. That's just me though, guys feel free to chime in to say if you have the same feelings about this.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The reason you want to be texted firstis the same reason those girls want to be texted frst. They want to feel wanted by you and that you actually want to talk to them. It's their little "confidence boost." But I also think it is inconsiderate to cause of the guys' feelings of wanting to feel special too.

    I have found that balance is the best thing in this case. Sometimes I text him first, and sometimes he texts me first. It should vary, in my opinion. And I believe it is somewhat sexist for girls to make thr guy text first every single time. It should go both ways. :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • Well, the reasons that an individual girl might not like to have already been said. Feeling wanted, not wanting to "bother" him, etc. A guy could feel the same way, though.

    But the reason why it tends to be such a girl thing, such a gendered problem, is because of our culture's ideas of masculinity = aggressive and feminine = passive.

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  • For the most part, girls want to be texted first because they do not want to be annoying or seem clingy. People want to be texted first, but when an individual texts them first all the time, eventually they will get annoyed. Nobody wants to be annoying. So just switch it up from time to time or let the girl know that it's okay for her to text first.

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  • It weeds out those who are really interested. If you REALLY like me, you'll try to woo me. I'm not going to invest feelings in you and try to woo you without knowing if you like me. That's too risky. That hurts too often and too much.

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  • I really don't want to bother him or be annoying.

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  • I've texted guys first before, one I was really into.

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  • i feel like I'm bothering him

    but I definitely try to even it out as much as possible

    i get really annoyed when I'm always texting first so I wouldn't do that to someone else

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What Guys Said 0

No guys shared opinions.

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