Now for the sake of argument, I will not tell all of you whether is a true story or not...but I would be interested in your opinions on it, how you would deal with it, etc.
The story begins at a coffee shop, 2 people meet, a guy and a woman. Both these people are cynical, damaged, cheating, players to give you a little background to go on; they are far from stereo-typically "good" people and the girl was left before marriage. Now, back to the story. They meet and go to dinner later, hit it off, flirt, the usual. Ends up back at her place at the end of the night and he finds out she's a stripper by questioning her pink platform heels. They talk, the usual crap then it moves to a first kiss, then to a more slightly sexual setting but she refuses to sleep with him on the first date and sends him home. Few more dates down the road everything goes great but he breaks up with her over some bullsh*t event. She wished to remain friends, he did not and that hurt her slightly. Weeks go by he can't the girl off his mind, she haunts it because he liked what he saw in those first few dates (not in love with her yet). Now he wonders if he could actually have a serious monogamous relationship and he liked the girl so he figured why not...they talk and start things over, albeit...very rocky. Over a six month time-span he tries to rebuild it though she is dating and fooling around with other guys. Though wanting nothing serious from them and noticeably they're pissed about that, but she doesn't care and only discusses the possibility of something serious with him at somepoint but believing they should be friends first to get to know each other and see if a relationship is possible. Though she always avoids the topic and discussing it, maybe blushing a little bit when he tries to get at how she feels and he calls her out for being a slut though tactfully and saying she can't stop because she claims to stop and never does, just lies about it. She doesn't get too defensive but is somewhat bothered...and finally one day the guy asks if it's his decision whether they're in a relationship or not because she wasn't making a move. She tells him yes...so he says they are. She says she has to think about it. Two weeks go by and nothing, he hasn't seen her or heard from her really, so he decides to confront her about it and she claims they're in a relationship now but is evasive about it. She also keeps avoiding contact with him, not wanting to see him, etc. He wants to talk about it because he sees that it could get better, so he tries to talk to her, they fight. She claims she's done with him and he with her...but the next day he doesn't want to be. She asks him why and when he tells her his feelings for her and that he loved her. This baffled her because she treated him terribly and after he admits this she admits to cheating on him multiple times during these 2 months of dating.
...to be continued
Most Helpful Girl
The guy put a lot of effort in, but didn't get it in return. It's a classic problem in relationships of all kinds. I think he should cut his losses, and try and find a girl that will put in the time and devotion that he did the first time. Love does make people blind to red flags, and do stupid things, but it is unfortunate that he wouldn't have realized how bad of a set up this was for a relationship. Hopefully by seeing other people, he can have a more grounded set of views of what he wants in a partner, and if they're willing to give it.
I think the girl is confused on who she is, and what she wants and needs to get that sorted out before pursuing a relationship. She probably feels guilty for breaking this guys heart, but she isn't ready to try again with him so soon. She may have good intentions to do things differently, but lying is one of those things that seem to creep back. She needs to break that habit before forming a relationship with anyone.
Overall, maybe someday down the road they could end up together, but it's not the right time as of now.1