HEY so I'm writing on here, because I'm not really sure where else to turn. I've had a really difficult upbringing.. dragged through divorces and psycho step dads, and moved all over the country, not really staying in one place for long at all. My Mom is mentally ill as well, and I haven't spoken to either of my parents in some time. I won't go over every traumatizing detail of my childhood but somehow I turned out to be a really good guy. I don't have any out of control vices, I don't mistreat people, I do charity work from time to time and I have a great job where I've managed to get promoted to a position where all of my colleagues have twenty years seniority on me. I read, I exercise, I travel, etc but I also spend the majority of my time alone. I'm a good looking guy, and I get attention from girls, but I don't know how to react so I act aloof. It's not that I was all that different when I was younger, it's just that my circumstances were so difficult that I had to move out when I was 16 and couldn't even finish high school. I ended up saving some money, and paying for a few classes - effectively working my way into a degree program at a state school.. but I'm two years in and taking a break to travel this fall so that's not complete yet.
So I know this is kind of a tough one, but given all this stuff I listed - would you girls be terrified to find this stuff out after dating me? I've gone out with a couple of girls this year, but they both said I wouldn't open up and it just didn't work out. I've been able to talk to some people in the past about everything, but I really just want to have a relationship where we can just enjoy what's going on now. Ugh I'm in serious trouble if I don't figure this out soon. Any advice is more than welcome
Most Helpful Girl
First of all, kudos for making the best of your situation and not living a troubled life, like many would who were raised in conditions similar to yours. I have a friend that grew up with a drug addict mom and a dad for a drunk, he pretty much raised his 3 younger brothers. The 3 brothers have been in and out of jail, trouble all the time, which you would expect because of 'where they came from'. The oldest though, has made a really decent life for himself, has a good job and a nice house, married his high school sweetheart and they have two beautiful little girls. So really, I look up to a man like you more than I would look up to one who lived a more typical life for a middle class person. You have beaten the odds and there is absolutely no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed of where you came from. Taking the risk of having your heart broken is hard, and every time someone hurts you, the barricade protecting your heart gets bigger and stronger. After you have so many layers built up, it's very hard to get all the way back in. You're really going to have to put yourself out there, love is risk, for everyone.0