Guys- if all signs are go what keeps you from jumping in?

Say you've been talking to a girl, you get along great in text

Then you meet and have a proper date and that's great too

You keep talking to the girl but don't make another definite date and you slack a bit more than usual on the texts

Why? What would keep you from going for it?

I see this all the time with my girl friends and it's happened to me too. We meet guys, talk a lot to the guys(both starting convos equally), we go on great dates, we have follow up texts, but then it peters out and we never see these guys again.

What's up?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There could be a lot of reasons for this. The bottom line is that he's probably lost interest.

    He could have lost interest because he thought you weren't interested enough.

    -Didn't flirt with him?

    -Didn't sleep with him soon enough (or give signs that you wanted to)?

    -Didn't treat him any differently than you do your other male friends?

    He could have lost interest for other reasons that are not nice to say that have to do with you.

    He could have lost interest for other reasons that aren't nice to say that have to do with him.

    I'd rather not go into these "not nice to say" categories, because I'd just be guessing, so here's just an example: Maybe you snort when you laugh in a really disturbing way; maybe he's got a package for you, but it's a much smaller package than you expected.

    You get me miss?

    • It's still not an excuse to just drop off like that. It's called manning up, not hiding like a scared little dog.

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    • Well... I didn't say "I don't like you" but I said I wasn't interested.

      Hmmmm. Ok, you're right miss. Please accept my apology :)

    • Hahaha I'm cracking up! The truth is always better and appreciated, it's better to know I think. And in the end if a guy really is nice he will tell you as opposed to you thinking he might eventually text. I accept it after two days but I have done friends who hope and pray that some guy will text after a week- that's not nice at all


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What Guys Said 6

  • It could be a number of things:

    1. You've overestimated his interest in you.

    2. He was busy with work, school, friends, etc. and you were not his first priority to see again.

    3. The guy could have gotten bored, or thinks that playing hard to get is the way to go.

    4. The guy has other women he's been seeing and you (or your friends) are not a "first option".

  • 2) Inexperience in the dating department

    3) Maybe they changed their minds and they didn't like you anymore.

    This happened to a girl I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend, but I didn't do it because she stopped being affectionate and eventually the feeling faded out and I started to wonder if I should actually should do this, eventually she messed up with a dumb text and that was the last time we ever talked.

  • One possibility is that he's also at a similar stage (early days) in seeing another girl and is trying to decide who he wants to pursue before going any further.

  • cause she has a BF!

  • Weird, I guess the same reason a girl would.

  • Maybe it is because women have put themselves above everyone and make all guys feel inadequate. I have seen girls worry over guys not talking or taking the next step and then when the guy does they just laugh and walk away.

    An answerer said guys don't have back bone maybe you should have a back bone and take the next step or you are every bit as big of a "coward" as they are. Women want to be equal but they feel like they should be treated differently.

    • also, I think some girls feel entittled to be treated specially because they are a girl and thus makes men their slave. I don't know from experience but this is what I get from the outside looking in

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    • Nah he knows I was sincere, we are still talking but it's definitely cooled off

    • re-initiate the convo

What Girls Said 4

  • Hah, I went though the same thing once. This is the advice 2 of my guy friends told me:

    - When a guy is fixated on a task (school, work, some goal he needs to achieve) he sometimes pulls back from a girl.

    - He doesn't want to jump in too fast. (I do this sometimes too)

    - He has residual feelings for a ex

    - He feels like he won the prize, so he backs off.

    - He feels like she is showing no interest

    - He changed his mind.

    I think it depends on the frequency you guys talk and the type of person he is.

    • Well I'm not too sure about the guys who have pulled away from my friends, as I only get what the girls tell me, but they cone back from dates so excited because they've found a nice guy who's cute and they get along with... Then after a few days of talking... Nothing

      It's happening to me too and it's not giving us a lot of hope for finding real nice guys- not saying they aren't nice because they aren't into us, but leaving us hanging is rude

    • Yup, I feel your pain, chicka.

  • The guys have decided they are not that into you because if the guy wanted another date he would make that happen.

    • See some guys even go so far as to set up a tentative date- by which I mean something along the lines of well get together Thursday and figure it out from there then never get in touch- that happened to my friend this week- and they talked everyday until Wednesday- she texted on Thursday to see what was up and he said hold on I'm doing something just now I'll text in an hour and never did- so she texted Friday and nothing

  • Cuz they're p*ssies

    • Unfortunately these guys are actually the "nice guys" all polite and sweet and kind... But if they aren't interested you think the nice thing to do would be to say it instead of letting it die- I'm so sick of seeing all my friends hurt because guy they really liked and guys who made all the signs of really liking them just didn't respond one day and never text or called again

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    • do you consider yourself a d***

  • OMGGG I AM GOING THRU THE SAME THING! like wthhhh is wrong with men of todays time!