This is going to be long. I'm really, really, really sorry. I just don't know what else to do, and I'm really stressing about this.
Here’s the situation. There's this party being thrown by a guy I used to work with. He’s been in Nicaragua for the past two months, and this party is a “hey, I’m back, come catch up/drink” kind of thing.
I have a major crush on him which I'm constantly trying to squelch), but I’m not entirely sure that those feelings are reciprocated. He’s the type of guy that’s just really friendly/flirty with everyone, so it’s nearly impossible to tell. As far as I know, he’s never had an actual “girlfriend”, but he has tons of girls that are friends, which, to be perfectly honest, I find incredibly intimidating.
There have been numerous occasions where I thought “oh, he so likes me”, and then he’ll do something (or NOT do something) that’ll make me think the opposite, and therefore crushes me just a little bit. He’s just that kind of guy.
Anyway, he’s invited almost a hundred people to this party, and only three of them are former co-workers, despite him being friendly with all of them. I was one of the three that was invited. Everyone else is, obviously, a friend of his. I don’t know any of them, and I’m not too good in large groups of people, especially people that I don’t know, but who all know each other. Not to mention I’m not much of a drinker. I've never been to a house party (or any kind of a "let's drink and party" kind of gathering), so I would have no idea what to do, and it makes it worse not knowing anyone.
I kind of feel like I should go, because I really appreciate being included, and frankly, I’m still holding out hope that he likes me. This is also one reason why I’m kind of reluctant to go. I don’t want to be “just a friend”. I’m not strong enough for that. I don’t want to end up seeing/hearing something I don’t want to, like about him and another girl. I just don’t know if I want him in my life if I’m going to feel sad every time nothing happens. But yet I'm not entirely sure if it's the right thing to do to cut him out when he sort of seems to want me to be in his, at least a little bit.
I do have the option of bringing someone, if I get on it soon, so that's an option.
I'm really, really sorry this was so long, but seeing as how I used to be insanely shy, I don't have anyone else to talk to about this.
Most Helpful Girl
what do you think is going to happen at this party?
If you want to go, go, if you don't, don't, but if don't go because you're afraid of being awkward you'll probally regret it, see it as a challenge, prove to yourself you're no longer that shy timid girl, it is good to get out of your confort zone every now and then, you only live once! As far as the guy, I think he makes is clear he can't be tamed, huge parties and giving you mixed signals, he's still in his player days, which he may be for his whole life, some people choose that lifestyle for themselves, I am one of them, well sort of.lol How about just be determined to be his friend try to get past his friendly flirty persona, get to know him in a deeper way.
Also about the alcohol, it maybe awkward to not be drinking like the rest, but you can also make it not awkward and still have a good time, you control how you feel, you set the mood for the rest of the group!
Personally, I am not too shy but a party with "over hundred" people I hardly know would be pretty intimidating... who will you hang out with? you don't want to bother him the whole night, and if the only activity planned is drinking which you don't do, you may not want to go.. or just stop by to say hi to your friend, see how the vibes are... and leave when you feel like.1