What does he want from me?

Okay, so I've been seeing this guy for 3 months. I'm 17 and he is 23, and we been seeing each other about once a week and go for sushi or to see a movie usually. We get along great and slowly we've been getting to know each other. He always respected me, he never really made body contact with me (He recently told me he was nervous because of our age difference).

So two weeks ago I was home alone and I invited him over to watch some movies. As it turned out we watched a movie, went for sushi, came back to my place and got high and ended up watching a movie in my room. He wouldn't cuddle me or anything whilst we was watching to the movie, but straight after he wanted to cuddle and it eventually led to sex. I didn't plan this at all.

The next morning when I woke up it all came flooding back to me what we'd done. I felt kind of embarrassed but he was fine and we talked for a while before he had to go home. I was left feeling kind of confused, and when he left he said 'I'll text you.' So I decided to wait for his text, which came through the ver next morning. For that whole week as usual he text me every single day wanting to talk. So the Saturday after, we went to the cinema and we didn't talk about the events of the weekend before. But I really wanted to say I wanted a relationship and where did we stand?

I ended up texting it him after the date as I lost my bottle.

He replied with 'We get on really well and I do like you a lot, but I think it may be to soon for a relationship but we can still hang out :)'. He had been giving off all the signals that he wanted to be with me and I felt totally crushed when he said that. But I decided to keep our friendship and see where it went.

I told him a few days ago that I didn't want sex again outside of a relationship, which he was fine with. I saw him last night and we went to his house. He introduced me to his dad and his brother and then we watched a movie in his room. It was like he had really made an effort, he had bought dips and drinks and cleaned. As the night went on, he cuddled me as we watched the movie, the started kissing me. I should have stuck to my guns about the no sex outside of a relationship, but I didn't and ended up staying the night. It was different his time though. He was cuddling me all night and I feel asleep in his arms and this morning he kissed me. All of this he didn't do the first time. Then he drove me home at half 6, (I had to creep in, I shouldn't of stayed out). When he pulled up I looked at him, and said 'Come here'. And kissed me again.

This has me questioning, what does he want from me? Friends with benefits? Has he maybe changed his mind about a possible relationship? I'm just so confused as to where I stand with him. He has never been so close and passionate with me as he was last night. Someone please help me.

Note: He texts me all the time, we are always talking and he has even gone to details of he previous relationships and what he wants from life.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Only he can really say for sure, but if he doesn't want a relationship, you've given up all leverage by having sex with him on a FWB basis (which, right now, is what you are). it puts you in the bad position where you might have to choose from either continuing to be his FWB or losing him as a friend entirely, because he's not going to want to go back to being "just friends" now, and he may very well be telling the truth when he said he didn't want a relationship.

    I don't want to sound mean, but it's important that you learn this lesson well: you made a series of decisions that clearly led to sex happening, with several of those steps going over the line of sensibility given that you had no relationship commitment, so you can't say that you were tricked or that you didn't see this coming, because you don't "get high and cuddle" with someone alone in your bed and not expect sex to be the logical destination. As a woman, it is YOU who stands to lose by allowing sex to happen without a commitment, so you're the one who has to stand your ground and get that commitment first. By not doing that, girls often end up in a no-win situation, which may well be the case here.

    Read this:

    link

    Hopefully you can work this out, but in the future, don't be foolish enough to make the same mistake, especially if you know going in that you like the guy, because 95 times out of 100, the girl loses.

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    • Okay. But a question: Whhy did he then feel the need to introduce me to his family. Surely if I was just a FWB he would want to keep that private and keep me separate from that?

    • I know this seems confusing, but lots of guys are genuinely FRIENDS with their FWBs, but still don't want a romantic relationship. Don't get me wrong, it's not IMPOSSIBLE that he wants a romantic relationship, but it would make him an exception. And, yes, most guys keep their FWB and familes seperate, but not always, especially if they are also good friends.

      Again, this is why it is SOOOO important to talk out the terms of a FWB relationship before starting one.

  • Are you still seeing him?

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