He still has his dating profile up. Should I bring this up?

I met a man on a dating site and we've been talking and seeing each other for about a month now. He told me that he cancelled his membership but I've been told by others that his profile is still up and that he still signs on. He tells me that he's not been talking to anyone else and that he's not interested in anyone else, that he really likes me. Should I bring this up or just let it go, since it's only been a month?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If he didn't tell you he had taken it down, then I would say...yeah, give it another month. The thing is, he's already proven himself to be a liar. It's that plain and simple for me. I don't think you should have to wait another month to see "if" he actually does what he said he already did.

    I'd bring it up now...doesn't have to be confrontational. Just let him know what you've learned and that if its rue, you feel disrespected about the lie in the first place (trust has already been broken and its only ben a month) and that you won't be able to consider bing exclusive as long as he is still on the prowl. You'll have to keep your options open. You can't sweep this stuff under the rug. Big yellow flag!

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What Guys Said 6

  • Give it some more time, he may have forgotten. I know I have some profiles still up that I haven't touched in almost a year. I'm just too lazy to go and actually removed them. Also same reason if you do say something, I wouldn't be very confrontational about it. He likely has just forgotten or hasn't really gotten around to it.

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    • True! I forget the passwords so can't get to delete them - and don't actually remember how many I listed on anyway!

  • Try to check whether what the others are saying is true. Log on anonymously, create a new (dummy) account, or access his page via a permanent link. You have to be sure of the information you were given by others.

    I'd suggest discussing it with him. If you feel that he is unwilling to tell you the truth, you may decide to move on. Honesty in relationships is very important for them to be stable.

    It think it's important to find out his intentions and his level of commitment to you.

    Strangely enough, many people on dating sites continue having their accounts open, even while they are involved in a fledgling romantic relationship. One explanation is that because the choice is so great, an impression forms that you can always find somebody who is a better match. This feeling is very difficult to suppress.

    Many people who met through the intermediary of a dating site seem to be eager to discuss other contacts they had.

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  • Bring it up for sure, but keep in mind that dating sites scam people all the time; one of the ways that they have been known to do this is to use data from a canceled profile to chat with new members. It's entirely possible that he actually did delete his account.

    Also, have you checked for yourself to see if he's actually still on the site, or are you taking your friend's word on it?

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  • I would be really cautious around this subject. I'm sure I don't need to teach you about stranger danger, but one month is not enough time to fully get to know and understand someone, and he may or may not be pursuing other interests. Approach this matter slowly, the last thing you want to do is startle someone and have them flip out on you.

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  • Let it go.

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  • Wait another month and see where it goes. If you're still bothered, just tell him. If you don't tell him you might feel less confident about yourself and confidence in women is hot :)

    Can you please answer my question (6th one down from yours in the relationships section)?

    Thanks!

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What Girls Said 5

  • Just wait for a while until things have the perspective of becoming serious. Then I would bring it up but a bit "jokingly", maybe like: ah, am I not enough to handle that you still need your profile? ;)

    I wouldn't bring it up just yet, maybe you could check his profile out (if it doesn't show who visits your profile, otherwise he might think you're stalking him or something) and see when his last log in was?

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  • It's only been a month, chill out. You don't want to seem too full on straight away. See where it goes, if it gets to say three or four months and he's still active on it then you have to ask yourself why? Then it will be the time to bring it up.

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  • Don't like the lying part. If you really want to know the truth wait a month tell him your feelings. If it remains up after a week of telling him he doesn't value your feelings. If you want to even find out more...have someone contact him. But only after you are in a exclusive relationship with him. I know it maybe bad...but wasteing your life on a cheater is 10X worse. Life is short.

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  • Give it a little bit more time & see how the relationship between you & the guy progresses. I believe that in any relationship you should be able to trust one another.

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  • I have a friend who is very in love with his girlfriend, but he still has his dating profile up because he is too lazy to take it down. She knows about it, so they're both okay with it. Guys usually take longer to take down their profiles.

    In your case you guys are still dating but not an official couple. This relationship is still in the "I'm curious about you, but not really sure how I feel" stage so I could see the reason for having the profile. However, I don't understand why he had to lie about it. That bothers me a little and for that reason alone I'd bring it up.

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