Painful decision, stay or go?

3 month relationship, I'm 30 and know what I want, she's 26 and not so much. (although she says she knows she wants to be with me and that means no kids)

I've struggled since the beginning with her not being very talkative since I am so outgoing and she is shy...and then I had very big issues with her not being affectionate physically nor verbally (I always initiate, she reciprocates), I am also the one always paying for stuff and rarely a thank you. I just don't feel like 'the man', and we've had a chat about the affection stuff...she apologized and said she'd work on it, but it is not her nature (no hugs in her family ever)

I am going on vacation soon with a bunch of friends to vegas and can't help but wonder if I should be single on it so I can really enjoy myself, (as in I may be beating a dead horse with this relationship, maybe I should cut it short early) I feel so lonely and unwanted, but maybe I am too sensitive. Do I break it off? DO I wait? If I do break it off, what the heck do I say? The very thought of it freaks me out..

omg this is so painful, and awkward


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is complicated because I went through something very similar. I was also around 7 years older than my boyfriend, and in the beginning, after a couple months, I broke it off to date someone else because he was not affectionate at all. Dating the other guy didn't work and we stayed in touch and later got back together and in a serious relationship. He stepped up. He became so much more affectionate and really tried and after dating him over a year, we were doing so good. We were very different, but if worked, and I know he really cared because he started holding my hand in public (his issue was more with PDA) and showing affection, just really doing what I needed him to.

    This issue I would be wary of is that you know what you want and she doesn't. This is exactly what happened with us, and we broke up. It was horrible because I was seriously in love with him and wanted a future together. But he was unsure of himself in many ways, including our relationship. It's up to you to try it, but just be warned it you aren't exactly on the same page, you could catch up to each other, but if could be a big point of contention if you want to settle down and she doesn't. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 2

  • break it off...it seem one way. she has issues. just think of it if you are married to her with kids...can you live like this?

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  • Looking at it from a shy person's point of view, it takes time to really 'come out' of it. Perhaps she needs more time? It's only been 3 weeks so if you decide to give her more time to know what you really like better and if she really loves u, she will change for u.

    On the other hand, you said you've struggled with her since the beginning sounds like you are both not very compatible for each other. And since you said you know what you want, then you should know that your having doubts so early in the relationship may spell bigger problems later on. If not for u, then for her. Changing one's natural personality for another person is sort of a sacrifice but for someone you truly love, it's worth it if it works out till d end. Just my opinion.

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What Guys Said 2

  • dude I think you should break up, she doesn't seem to appreciate you enough, my girlfriend is suprised every time I pay for something and she ALWAYS tries to prevent me from "spoiling" her, also if she's just not showing affection it's who she is, she'll be OK and she'll find someone right for her , it doesn't sound like you two fit.

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  • leave her. move on. it's over. find a good hooker in vegas and enjoy.

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