After being physically and emotionally torn to pieces by my best friend . . .
I texted him (NOT thinking and in a complete state of shock) ‘I really need you, I need you to pick up your phone, you are the most lovable friend I have ever known and I would always do the same for you’
A week before all of this I accidentally told him after a little argument that I just wanted to be friends, it had no meaning whatsoever and subconsciously I was trying to get his attention, because I was feeling a little ignored that day.
Although, after apologising and explaining, he completely understood and seemed to forgive me.
Since this text . . . he just seems really different (SO distant and indifferent to our relationship). this is the only thing I can put it down to, I have no idea if I’m just clutching at anything... he knows I was in a panic, in shock when I sent it, trying desperately to reach him.
Do you think this is the reason why he is acting differently towards me? Would it have hurt him, made him act the way he is?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think it was your text. He just finally woke up to what was going on. If anything, it was your previous argument where you told him "I just want to be friends".
You're basically using this guy. This is nothing new. Girls crave attention. Some more than others. They need a shoulder to lean on, a protector, someone to confide in, etc. A brotherly figure. There is a different sense of comfort and affirmation when the attention is coming from a guy than from one of her girlfriends.
The problem is guys always get the short end of this bargain. We don't really get anything out of close female relationships. Typically Male-Female friendships are one sided because women offer men nothing (other than sex) that we cannot provide our selves. We don't require arbitrary attention, emotional support, physical protection, fixing of problems. That being said, many times the guy will say to himself "I'm always there for this girl when she is in need, but what am I getting in return?"
I always say, If you want me to be at your beckon call, to talk to you whenever you are bored, need advice, or a shoulder to cry on, then maybe you should date me. It's selfish to expect boyfriend like attention without making any commitment. Unless you want to date the guy, that type of attention should be coming from your girl friends, not a guy. That's just how it has to be.
The two of you were obviously close and I'm telling you that its likely this guy had some sort of feelings for you. Even if he didn't he is probably getting the vibe, that you're playing him for his attention.
Like anonymous said, us guys are taught to cut girls like this out of our lives. They do nothing but suck up our time and energy and we get nothing in return other than sexual frustration and twisted emotions.5