I can't compete with his friends, what to do?

Been with this guy for a while, and for the most part he's great. But there's one thing about him that really has me feeling sad a lot and its the fact that he's super social. He's social with EVERYONE. Even if he hates them and even when they really don't matter to him.

Hell he's more social and hilarious around friends and the general public than with me. Its as if he feels like he doesn't have to impress me. He used to try harder in the beginning.

In the beginning things were great until he started getting comfortable and spend more of his time with friends so I started getting distant and instead of him trying to figure out what was wrong he gave me space and that lead to more arguments.

After a few months we finally had a long talk and we both know why the other was acting the way we do and he has been trying harder to communicate and be around his friends less often but the issue of him not trying hard to make me smile/laugh isn't there still.

When we are with friends he's always being funny with them and I always feel like the outsider. I know if I asked him or talked to him about it, he'd say the same thing when we used to argue was that I'm not saying much. But I would say more if he'd try harder.

What to do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • What you need to do is tell him how it makes you FEEL when he's giving everyone else so much attention when you'd like more of it yourself. That's all.

    Let HIM decide how to solve the problem, and see what happens. Ultimately, though, being very social is part of his personality, and likely a big part of what attracted you to him in the first place. That means he's always going to be that way. Yes, he can make some adjustments to accomidate you, and he should, but he's not ever going to be the type of guy that you're mostly going to have to yourself. If you can't accept that, then you probably need to break up and find the type of guy who fits your needs better.

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    • Well no what attracted me to him in the beginning was the effort he made to make me smile/happy and etc. Sure he communicates well and etc but I haven't laughed when I'm around him in a long time. its like he almost tries to please everyone BUT me.

      When we used to argue some months back I did bring this up and I remembered he said "Yeah you are right..." but that's why he's communicating more but communicating wasn't the issue, it was the effort level of how he communicated.

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