Was it wrong to tell him what I want?

I lack dating experience at the age of 24, my choice based on personal and at home circumstances, so it's hard to know what should and shouldn't be... Anyways, now I feel emotionally mature enough.

There's this guy at work, another student working part time, I see on wkds has asked me out once, and I asked him out once. We've never had a one on one date. He's not a flirt, he only flirts with me...It just seems funny to me because he spends all his breaks talking to me 3 months now! I have the suspicious feeling that he's trying to decide whether he really wants to pursue me or not, so instead of spending money on me he tries to learn more about me at work.

Before, I used to act smitten with him because he's the first guy I've truly like...I like certain quality in a man's personality and he had it. Lately I've been sick of him not asking me out, I don't like flirting at work for all to see. At this point I'm willing to lose him, so I'm not always trying to please him anymore...basically I'm being myself.

Last weekend he seemed a little upset because as I was leaving I pretended not to notice him...not on purpose, it's that I've sort of moved on & decided that I didn't want to give him special attention anymore like before (going up to his work area and waiting for him to come over to say bye).

As I was leaving he shouted my name, and asked,"aren't you going to say bye?" I was sort of shocked, but I came over. I told him I didn't really see him and he sarcastically responded that he's not hard to see. Then it went like this...

me (surprised): well what do you expect? I mean, (pause) is that what you do? Is that how you seduce your women? By talking them to death? (LMAO)

him: (quietly+mumbling) yes I thought so

me(calm, assertive): call me sometime, I can't always be the one initiating...I mean it's a turn off for me, when I'm the one asking you out. I want to get to know one another, do normal things like go to the movies, get ice cream etc. I'm just being honest.

Him: what about a little mystery?

me: I like mystery

Then he gave me a high five, and I asked why he's always doing that...then I showed him a different way to give a high five HA HA HA then he did it again lol. He did get sort of irritated when his coworker came and interrupted, and when some female coworkers asked him to do something...he said<"don't worry about them, they're jealous"...he told me he would call, regardless I know my value so either way I sort of don't care anymore, yet I have that small sliver of hope.

More about me: I'm beautiful, smart, genuinely kind, and everyone who meets me loves me. I'm not a jealous person...recently I've decided it just won't do trying to please anyone for that matter, and that I should set my boundaries with anyone. This is me obtaining self respect, I will no longer tolerate someone who's just a little interested, I want a man who can take charge and ask me out...do sweet things for me, then I will return the


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What Guys Said 1

  • of course it wasn't wrong.

    You want him to be more flirty and ask you out, and you told him that. Now its up to him to decide.

    Keep it up. Guys love assertive woman.

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    • Thank you, I'm starting to realize that's exactly what men want. They want a woman who lets them know what makes them happy, and when they meet those needs the woman lets them know that she appreciates him. I find a lot of women expect men to know what they want whether in dating or a relationship, but we're not all the same.

    • girls don't let guys know that enough.

      So we always second guess ourselves.

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