How do I react when he has a bad day and tries to take it out on me?

We are both avid Christians and because we live at least 45 min away from each other and work most of the time we only see each other once a week and most of our relationship is on the phone. Sometimes he has a Really bad day so when we are on the phone he takes it out on me or when we go on a date he does the same. I want him to talk it out. We both are happy in our relationship and know where we are heading and want the same thing, companionship and something longterm. So talking it out to one another and keeping our relationship ours and not our friends or families is important. I'm stuck. I've prayed a lot about this for a long time and do not know where else to turn to. It breaks my heart when he is miserable like this yet the stress is horrible when he is that ill at me! What can I do to ease this problem and situation?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Take it out on you physically or verbally?

    Physical? Run like hell...

    Verbal ? - Try to deflect his anger and help soothe him. Sometimes you just want to vent and can't at work so you want to complain to someone. While he may seem angry at you - he's just angry at the stuff that happened that day.

    However, if he's having a bad day and instead of venting is just treating you poorly/taking it out on you - that is different. I'd give him a good warning and if that didn't help - again - run like hell.

    I'd say 'look, I know you had a bad day and I'm here for you but you can't take it out on me - if you aren't happy to hear from me as the bright spot in your day - then we should evaluate the situation'.

    I know that if I'm having a bad day, I just want to hear my so's voice.

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    • No not physically. Not verbally either. Just generally ill about everything and every response is negative.

    • Sounds like debbie downer from SNL. Woh woh...

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