Reverse power roles in relationships?

Women, if you had superpowers, would your feelings for men without them change? Would it bother you that any illusion of them being able to physically protect you would be gone? Are any of you expert martial artists or marksmen? If so, how does that affect your relationship(s)?

Men, how would you feel in the above situation?

Updates:
I'm having a little bit of a hard time believing that it really wouldn't make any difference. I hear so often that women want to feel safe with a man, but most of the women here have said they don't care. Isn't the reason women prefer taller men that they want to feel protected? Are the media and common perception incorrect, or are the women who answer on this site a minority?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I go to the gym and have a fair bit of strength but if you look at me, you'd never know, I'm quite slim and people don't notice that the curves I do have are mostly muscle. I prefer my guy simply to be taller so I can wear high heels without looking like a giant and because it's nice to cuddle up to his chest, not for safety at all! If I simply wanted a bloke to physically protect me, I'd get a security guard, I don't need protecting.

    There's been a few times when I've protected myself and my previous partners through strength where guys have threatened me and gone to hurt me because I don't back down and then fought back. Plus I'm pretty good at archery and I'm a magician's assistant so I get to throw knives so I can take care of myself!

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What Girls Said 18

  • I don't date men for protection. I can kick ass on my own ;) I did karate for maybe 8 years and then quit because it got too expensive. But I'm pretty strong, I lift weights and run pretty fast, I also ALWAYS have an escape plan. There isn't an area in my life I don't have at least 5 hiding spots and exits to :p

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  • It's hard to say. :/

    It's true that when I'm considering potential boyfriends, I take his size/strength into account. Even though I'm trained in martial arts and self defense, and I'm confident in my ability to survive a dangerous situation, my chances of survival increase even more with a strong man present.

    However, if I had superpowers, then ALL men would be weaker than me; not just some of them. So that makes all of them on the same level, whereas in real life, the weaker men have a disadvantage. So I don't think it would affect my dating life that much.

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  • I agree with you. Women do want to feel protected and its a basic instinct that has kept us and our children alive for thousands of years. However, I weight train and I am stronger than 50% of the men out there. I have even dated men weaker men bt it bothered them more that I was stronger than them than vice versa. For me to feel genuinely protected is when theguy is confident in his own masculinity and has social stra

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  • As other girls have said, I don't think of my boyfriend as my "protector" anyway, so it wouldn't matter.

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    • @update: Yeah, I see tons of women on here say that. Perhaps the issue is that they're less likely to answer this question? The only reason it drew me in was because the title immediately made me think "this is gonna be based on gender roles" and I won't deny I jump at the chance to use my relationship as an example that there doesn't have to be a weird power dynamic between partners.

  • I love feeling protected by my guy, so if I had some superpower and my guy didn't I would feel a little awkward, but would love him nonetheless. He would totally be able to protect me in different ways, and I wouldn't use those superpowers much, just to let him know that I want him protecting me lol.

    I have great aim with a gun, and a bow and arrow for that matter. It doesn't really affect our relationship negatively because my boyfriend is even better than I am at both of those lol. If anything we benefit from it because we can both go to the shooting range, or competitions and stuff like that. :)

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  • i love the secure and protected feeling of being with a guy stronger then me.it wouldn't be so bad to have superpowers and have the guy be weaker and not need him to protect me or anything but being honest I wouldn't like it.im not weak but I'm not strong either, and ill admit there are times where I want a guy to be there andd there are times where I want to take care of myself. there has to be a balance

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  • Though some may say differently, I think it would somewhat alter the feelings a woman has and the relationship as a whole. This doesn't, however, mean it would change for the worse. I think that because we've been raised in a society where men are seen more as the "protectors" and women more as the "damsels in distress", the mindset carries onto future relationships. So of course, it would be different and odd to have the roles reversed for the simple reason that we're not used to it. If we were raised where the roles were switched it wouldn't be so unusual.

    Anyways, I also believe that there are instinctual feelings of wanting to be protected and be safe. It's only natural in the coarse of human survival. But, living in the modern age lessens the need to have such protection. So while it may change the feelings in a relationship slightly, I think the need for the power roles and feelings of protection from a partner are lessening with each generation.

    (apologies on the long answer, but I enjoy writing)

    For me personally, its a nice thing to know the person you're with is able to protect you if need be. It's not that I need someone to house me, feed me, etc. but just that if I heard a strange noise at night I can have comfort in knowing there can be someone who will go downstairs with a baseball bat. I am extremely independent and wish to be so in a relationship, and I like to be able to defend myself, but I still feel drawn to the idea of someone else capable of providing extra safety for me and my family.

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    • This feeling of protection and damsels in distress is not just a cultural thing though. It's an evolutionary instinct, that caused culture to be shaped like that.

    • Yup, I mentioned that: "There are instinctual feelings of wanting to be protected and safe. It's only natural in the coarse of human survival."

  • I would be more worried about the guy's ego being hurt because of it. Girls do enjoy feeling protected by a man, but for me it's more important that I know he'll fight for me if necessary. If I could take care of myself, and still know that he would fight for me or with me anyway then there would be no problems.

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  • I need to be able to physically defend myself on my own, no matter if I'm with a guy or not.

    Having superpower wouldn't change much then :)

    I'm not an expert in any fighting sport, but I can run fast enough ^^

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    • About your update : I need to be able to defend myself, but the feeling of him being able to protect me is nice too ! The feeling wouldn't change if I had superpowers, because it wouldn't modify his ability to protect me in a moment of need :) Perhaps I don't feel the need to be protected because I'm taller than most girl in my country (5'9''). I'm not that much shorter than guys around me, and -like it or not- it doesn't put me in the damsel in distress category ^^

  • I don't think of Men , as protectors, stronger, or there to save me. I'm working on karate. Tho, I wish I started when I was 3.

    I can't tell you how id feel about someone, I don't know , in a situation, that doesn't exist. Human beings do not have superpowers.

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  • i am just tired of this male-female power equations. I have been so absorbed in this feminist discourse that I now see gender inequality in every damn thing on earth. good lord! even on a fb cartoon about how men lose their freedom after marriage, I wrote a long discourse about how women lose freedom too but no one seems to care about that. sigh...i need a break!

    so enough of my rant. I want a nice, well built guy who should be tall enough. it doesn't matter whether I am superwoman or not.i don't know the gender dynamics behind it. perhaps I am genetically wired or socially wired like this. I don't know. whatever

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  • Saying is easy.- I would say it would make no difference. I hv a hard time trusting people so I would feel more confident and secure with super powers :p.

    But I am 16. My opinion may change

    and I would really know whT I would do and how I would feel only if I actually experience the situation.so I can't really say.

    As they say, saying is different from doing.

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  • I do have superpowers...mwahaha!

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  • No, my mind about them wouldn't change.

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  • No my feeling for him would not change. I am not with my boyfriend 24/7 so he can't protect me 24/7 and who is to say he can protect me when we are together, he can't fight an earthquake, etc. I am not with him for protection, I am with him because we have fun together, we get along really well, he is good to me, we have a lot in common, we have similar dispositions and beliefs and he is a generous lover.

    If I wanted protection, I would hire a bodyguard. What I want, I have in my boyfriend already.

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  • Interesting question...

    In my first marriage my ex was 6'1" (so tall) but he never even held a gun, wasn't very strong, and would get his ass kicked if he ever had to fight. I'll be honest, when there was a noise on the house, I felt I would have to do the protecting...and I didn't like that. I had a plan of how I would protect the family in an emergency.

    My husband now in 5'7", shoots guns with me (better than me I might add), and would be very aggressive if he needed to protect me...I think that's hot! If there was a break in, he would lead the charge and I would be right behind him.

    All that being said...if I had super powers, I would want someone who could back me up, not hiding under a bed.

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  • I wasn't aware men had super powers...I don't see them flying everywhere and shooting webs out of their wrists. I don't need/want a protector. I need/want a partner in crime. There's a difference.

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  • Yes it would. =) A lot of females like the idea of being protected or feeling safe in their SO arms. If they were to have that then they wouldn't need to rely on their man for that "security" although I know some women are more than capable of protecting themsevles but still like to be held by their loved ones.

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    • why don't you just think for yourself & answer for yourself. he's asking YOU. you don't know most females in the world. so there's no reason to say most or alot, or anything. just speak for yourself. how hard is it to do.

    • If you open your eyes and ears you'll notice that most women are like that. No I haven't met every women on this planet, but I have met enough people from different cultures and ages to have a large enough sample audience.

    • I am thinking for myself and that is my opinion and apparently because I have one you don't like it. I said a lot not all :/ what is your issue? because you act like I was speaking on your behalf or something. In any case it doesn't make you any less strong or capable because you like to be held or protected or that feeling for that matter.

What Guys Said 11

  • So many girls like to pretend they don't care about it. But the truth is, if the guy is stronger and can protect her, he has a much better shot at a relationship with her. Very few exceptions to this.

    It's not just men that follow their caveman instincts.

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    • So.. how long have you had _your_ Vagina.

    • Interacting with women for 25 years has made something this very clear to me.

      I've seen a lot of women pretending to not care about that stuff whatsoever, because they would prefer if they actually were that way. They like to delude themselves into thinking they're looking at men strictly in a 21st century way.

      But it just doesn't work that way.

    • Sorry, it's not just women who do this. Men do this as well, I've seen enough examples on this website.

  • Honestly, I would not want to be with a woman that doesn't need me in some way. I need a woman that can lean on me as often as I lean on her. If she had super strength or something, she would need to find some other way to lean on me, or I would feel worthless in the relationship.

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  • I think its hilarious how all of these girls act like they could kick anyones ass if they were attacked lol. Yeah I think if they were super heros everything would change. They would definitely look at men differently. Now, they are at the mercy of any man who would want to cause them harm, if they were superheros it would be the total opposite. Yeah total role reversal and complete society change.

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    • So, you live in fear of being butt f***ed by a super hero.. because you don't want it, or because you do?

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    • Lol I didn't think this answer was that bad for all the down votes it got.

    • Im one of the only people on this site who is real...the truth hurts.

  • 6 days late, but;

    I have a friend who is a sociopath. Expert at manipulating people, she can get whatever she wants. She has delusions of grandeur to the extreme - she is certain she is perfect. She is also an esteemed Taekwando expert and is very rich, richer and stronger than any of us. On top of all that, she is American (an illness comparable to sociopathy) and thus expects her man to protect her, to be dominant and 'step up to the mark', etc. When her lover, another friend of mine, is unable to do so, due to the ridiculously high standard she has set for a potential lover, she becomes extremely upset and demands that he steps up, claims she 'needs a man' and calls him whipped of all things!

    She isn't aware that no man could hold the stereotypical power role in a relationship with her - she demands that they do. This isn't her being horrible and selfish and spoilt - this is just her being a confused American Sociopath.

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  • I wouldn't care. I didn't know women pursued guys based on who could protect them better physically, I have to re-adjust my lifestyle if that is the case. I'm going to start cycling steroids now and buy a huge man cannon that will make up for my small penis.

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    • lol. I dont. I know a lot who never even thought of that as a reason I wouldn't worry about it ;)

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    • Also I am a 6' Marine, only 175lbs but pretty strong and my dating life is sh*t so there ya go most women don't seem to care. They seem to care more about what they have in common with me. F***ing shocking I know. I have known plenty of losers who start fights to show that they are the toughest guys around and they have some pretty loser wives and almost all other women hate them.

    • I agree with your last comment. It could be down to arragance though. People who pick fights because they're 'tough' are arragont and ignorant. If you're mature and have self control, you will be more appealing.

  • I don't think I feel it necessary to be my woman's protector. I do find it comforting and masculinity-affirming that I CAN protect my woman if the need arises, though.

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  • Som girls say I'm tough blahblahblah but most guys I know would of course win if they turned into some physcopath who gets in fights with girls for whatever reason.

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  • I know a lot of girls who talk about feeling safe when there's 2 big and/or tall guys beside them.

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  • Hmmm...cant cheat on her haha.

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  • I'd like to date that superchick from "The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo".

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  • I dated a woman that was a marksmanship champion and we didn't really care. I was taller than her but among gun nuts it's understood that it doesn't matter how big you are in a real human fight for survival these days. These desires for big men are about as inherently useful in the real world as the desire for big boobs.

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