How do you guys do it?

Seriously how do you build up the courage and find the right time to ask someone out? I've been trying for weeks looking for any in but I can't seem to get one now that I've decide I'm done waiting for him to do it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Thank you for acknowledging that it isn't easy :)

    The key I think is simply knowing that vulnerability is important for happiness. there are actually scientific studies on that. People who are more vulnerable are generally more happy. So, what's the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is the regret of not taking a chance. If someone is mean in their answer, so be it. Not your fault. Be glad you found out right away. But in my experience, I your approach is honest and sincere, the answers are surprisingly positive. :)

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    • It's so hard and I know he's into me but I feel like I'm oblivious on which times are good to be all you me date this weekend

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    • Well, you could be a little nicer. How would you like to be asked out? I liked your "you, me, dare this weekend?" Actually. Don't ask in the same way you would ask for directions.

    • Alright I'll keep on trying

What Guys Said 6

  • Generally, you do it before you have any real feelings for the girl. When you're basing it on looks alone, and maybe a snippet of her personality.

    The other key factor is knowing that rejection isn't the end of the world. There's billions of ladies out there. If she turns you down, you just move on to the next.

    The biggest mistakes certain guys on this site seem to make are:

    1) Waiting until they are "in love" with the girl, before making a move, which opens them up to a much more severe form of rejection, in addition to the girl may have friendzoned them by that time, or at least she'll be in the position of not wanting to "risk the friendship."

    2) They rarely ask girls out at all. 4 or 5 times a *year*, so they obsess over every rejection, instead of dealing with 4 or 5 rejections a week. It's a lot easier to stop thinking about the 4 or 5 rejections you've had this week, when girl number six said yes. But if you're moving so slowly that you ask 4 or 5 girls a year, then that's 10 months or 12 months of horrible self-analysis and self-loathing and crushing your self-confidence.

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  • You have to create it and really you just go for it, not asking the person out gives you zero chance, but if you do ask the person out it gives you a better chance even if it's .1%. Also not knowing is MUCH worse than getting rejected.

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    • I get that I have to create it but how?

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    • the whole point is for him to know your intentions...am not saying that you should tell him "I want your number so I could ask you out" lol. Really what's the big deal if he suspects that you are interested in him when you really are interested in him? If you want him you have to realize that he has to know that you're interested. Just find something that he sounds interested in and tell him you'll text him the info...just look for an opportunity. Gettin a # is easy...

  • You have to find a point in the conversation where it just seems natural, like a common interest, or you cut the conversation off and say you'd like to continue the conversation another time. I sounds easy, but it isn't. It takes courage to go up to talk to the person in the first place. Usually, you just have to talk yourself into it and then go in before your mind can tell you not to. Then, you just have to be willing to put yourself out there. The worst that can happen is the person says no, which is the only possibility if you don't try. In the end you're ahead, you either have a date or you know that you shouldn't waste your time on this particular person

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    • yea make it flow last thing you want is to make it abrupt and awkward...learned that the hard way lol

    • I talk to the guy a lot at work and he flirts with me constantly. I keep trying to get him alone because I know he'll say no if anyone else is around.

    • Like guy532 said, it should flow. For example, if he says he likes a restaurant say something simple like "me too, we should go together sometime" or something simple. If he says yes, find out a time to go, or get his number to coordinate later

  • It's much harder than it looks and sounds isn't it? To answer your question, that's exactly why I don't do it. I wish I had the balls of steel to do it, but I don't.

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    • Well that doesn't help me :(

    • I'm sorry, I wish I could have helped. You can read some other people's answers and try to get useful info from them.

  • Shit I don't do it lol.

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  • Dunno, still trying to figure it out.

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