When you are young should you never have a serious relationship?

What is your opinion on this? When you are in the younger stages of life (i.e. 15-25) should you have serious relationships? I have had very few and none longer than 7 months. I am quite happy.

Although I loved my ex, at the end of the day, she is still my ex and that is 7 months gone with someone. I can't imagine people that date for several years and then just end up breaking up 5 years down the line.

I think being free and having fun at this stage is very important, or else you won't have any experience and you won't have much knowledge of what you really like and you might end up settling too soon. How will you know you are with the love of your life when you have only dated one person all your life?

Maybe it is cynical of me but... I mean the other day I almost had a threesome (two girls)... I have a lot of regular sex and never get too attached. Also I don't limit my self and meet many new people, date a lot, I have dated women from many different cultures, backgrounds, and ethnicity. If I just stayed with one person all this time, I can't help but think I would have missed out on a lot of things, missed out on a lot of experiences and growing up that comes with not being attached to one person. I don't say I never will, but I think I will wait until I have been around the block a few time before I pick someone to get serious with.

Whats your opinion?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • my mom definitely feels that way. she's been with my dad since she was 16 and she pretty much made it very clear - don't do it. she's very unhappy and I learn from her.

    i think it depends on what you want in life. I would never get married young because I want more from life than a family and marriage limits your ability (or willingness) to go where you would have gone or do what you would have done otherwise.

    serious, unmarried relationships can work in the same way. I've never really dated anyone, so I've never had to worry about that but I have had friends pass up great opportunities because they didn't want to be away from their bfs. I think that's f***ing stupid but that's love for many people.

    i wouldn't say I have a rule against it, but my life is pretty busy right now and I'm not so young anymore anyway - ill be 23 soon. I can't even believe it.

    i don't think id have those same problems only because I've been able to grow up into an adult by myself and not on someones arm like my mother. also I have a different personality, I'm a different person.

    i honestly do not think you should do what my mom did - be with your high school love and marry them and never be apart. it stifles true growth and you don't get to see what you're really capable of as independent person. and the dynamics of that relationship can lead to unhappiness, unfulfilled desires, feeling trapped (like my mom). I really want to be in a relationship only because I've been single for like forever. I don't think that means you can't ever have casual sex but if you look at life as a limited time for you to do anything (and most people do) and you feel like "omg settling down comes when older so must do all sex now" then I can see how you would feel that way.

    my friend was in love with this guy who was not having any kind of relationship. I was kind of in love with him too but she started on him first and I could see that I would end up with a whole lot of nothing, and a lot of crying, if I went down that road. and that's exactly what she got.

    so here's what I think - different things are good for different people depending on what you want in life in general or just at whatever stage you're in. make it match up with what you really want. you will always miss out on something - no one can have it all at one time. if you're single, you may think couples have what you're missing. if you're a couple, you may envy single people. and it goes on like this forever. that's life. do what you want and be honest with people. if you want a threesome, and so do they - go for it.

    i just advise anyone out there to not pursue someone if they are not interested in relationships. its frustrating as hell and will only get you hurt. everyone needs to find those who are compatible with them and move on from chasing the unattainable.

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What Girls Said 8

  • you learn a lot being in a relationship with someone. you learn the things you can live with, the things you can't live without. you learn your relationship strengths and weaknesses. you learn about compatibility with different people and what your type really is and the requirements someone you'll be with forever needs to have. in a sense they are test relationships, practice relationships if you will. now plenty of people end up marrying their high school sweetheart and stay happy 30-40 years later (my parents included). so to answer your question, I do think some serious relationships are good and healthy and prepare you for marriage or a successful long lasting relationship.

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    • Good answer. I am really happy for your parents, maybe I don't see it that way as my parents were fighting and unhappy from as young as I can remember.

    • that could be true

  • Maturity to date, to understand and fully comprehend the true meaning of the word "love", comes to us all at a different age. You can be a mere child and completely understand, a full grown adult and completely miss the point. It bothers me when people say you are never ready when you're young. They don't know you. The fact is, it's different for everyone. Sure, you should explore first, there's A LOT of people out there to choose from. But once you find that ONE, you settle down. And you're happy. You'll know when you get to that stage. Exploring will seem dull, you'll want nothing more then to spend the rest your days with this one, special person.

    It takes time and effort, to find this one person. They rarely find you first. Experience in this field may not always be a good thing. When you find what you want, you'll just know. Good luck :)

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  • so long T_T lol. simply I think that you should have a serious relationship when you are young to prepare yourself better for later. sometimes people get carried away or too seriously or carry on like their world is gone up in flames when they are young but it can be nice too especially if it lasts past that stage. I think hs sweethearts are adorable especially when they still love one another<3

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  • I had an 8 year relationship that did fail. I am 26. I have had threesomes in a committed relationship too. Just all how you look at it. I'm more for being in a committed relationship than sleeping around but that's me. Total personal preference and it's more about maturity than age.

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  • I think it's safe to have a serious relationship once you hit 21.

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  • I don't think there should be an age. If you're young then you tend to learn more and put it towards future relationships.

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  • I don't think age has anything to do with anything. It's the maturity of the person that matters the most. My sister is only 2 years older than me but she pretty much became like my mother sometime when we were young and she started dating at 13 when she got into relationships that lasted longer than 3 months. Now she's 26 and she's been in a relationship with the same person for 10 years. She's always been serious that way and that is who she is so I can't imagine her being any other way. Sure she is going through a phase right now where she is wanting to be single, but then again she knows what's good for her. It's good for some people to be single and it's good for other not to be, it's just how it is.

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  • I disagree completely. I think it varies from person to person. I've never had casual relationships, only serious ones - starting when I was 17 I think. I've gained a lot of other experiences other than what I could have gained from hooking up with people, or just loosely deciding whom to date. I also have dated plenty of different ethnicities.

    I kind of see where you're coming from but I love serious relationships.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I totally agree with you. I'd advise to try and avoid "in a relationship" status until you find somebody you would like to marry one day. It is not an easy thing to do, and I bet some of your "regular sex" partners have forced you to have an official relationship with them. If you say they didn't, then I don't know womenkind at all... lol.

    The other thing is that men are lazy. If we get regular sex from somebody, we are not so eager to go hunting again. It gets comfortable to be able to come to somebody for a quick action. That's when you lose the game. Because a) you get attached, b) she gets attached, c) you two end up in a relationship, d) she wants to marry you. Wait, was it that slutty chick I picked up in a bar when I was drunk? How did I end up having kids with her?

    You got the point.

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  • I think there is some truth to that. Most people under 22 or so are not ready for anything serious.

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