Can a first time sex lead into dating each other?

I'm about to have sex for the first time with a guy , and he said if we have chemistry he would definitely continue to see me.

And I wonder if the chemistry is strong that it leads to the desire to continue seeing each other, is it possible?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes sex can lead to dating. My partner and I started out as friends with benefits, and have now been together for 6 years.

    That said, it sounds like this guy is only interested in sex with you. That's not necessarily a bad thing, so long as YOU'RE only interested in sex. If you're having sex with him in hopes that he'll want something more, there's a good chance that this will end badly for you. There's a good chance that he won't be interested in anything more, and you'll probably end up feeling used and hurt.

    As others have said, sex doesn't lead to chemistry. You find out if you have chemistry with another person by spending time with them and getting to know them. You might find that you have sexual chemistry, but that's not the same as want-to-be-in-a-relationship-with-you chemistry.

    This situation sounds very unequal, like he's calling the shots. It sounds like you want something more, but he just wants you for sex. It sounds like he's just giving you the impression that it COULD lead to something more so that you'll agree to sex, but he doesn't really care if it doesn't lead to more (and may even feel that it probably won't).

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What Guys Said 4

  • Sounds an odd thing to say. Gives him a lot of power. ie he gets to call the shots? Should be more equal.

    Whether chemistry exists or not is established through dating and getting to know one another. Sex is more about physical attraction or lust, where you don't necessarily have to have to have much in common personality wise. He must find you sexually attractive to begin with if he wants to have sex with you.

    If you really want to retain a guy, you should have the self respect to insist on a relationship beforehand and get to know him for a while before having sex. And if he's not willing to wait, then you know what kind of guy he is, and you be able to stick to your values by letting him go and waiting for a better guy.

    I promise you this is not the way to get his validation. Men don't respect women who allow themselves to be used and are at their beck and call.

    It depends on your values and just what you're after. In my view, there's a good chance of being 'f***ed and chucked' in this situation.

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  • It can happen. I know a couple who had three separate ONS (they literally ran into each other while travelling more then once) and didn't exchange contact information till the third time. They lived in different countries ... and now they're married.

    But you know, most first dates don't lead to a relationship, whether or not there is sex involved.

    There are some guys for whom if you 'give it up' to soon, they think you're 'just for sex' and not a 'serious' girl.

    There are some guys for whom if you have sex immediately, they view it as a plus you have a lot of chemistry and similar sex drives.

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  • You seriously need to reconsider. He is obviously trying to use you for sex. Once you give it to him, you have nothing left that he wants. Already he has seen past you as a person and simply as a sex object.

    You're better than that. Tell him to use his hand if he needs quick relief. You're not his whore.

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  • Yes it is quite possible..happens more than a lot of people realize...(:(:(:

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What Girls Said 5

  • Chemistry is usually established through the dating aspect of the relationship, not the sexual part.

    You can with hold from sex and see if you have enough incommon, and then move forward.

    It sounds as if he wants to use you has my opinion. (Ex. get what he wants, then say we cannot date because we do not have much incommon).

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  • Seems like a pretty odd thing for a guy to say, but yes I am sure if you click with some guy you just f*cked it is quite possible for it to turn into a dating thing.

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  • Its normally the other way round- the chemistry leads to sex

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  • It sounds like he is trying to use you. Chemistry is something that becomes apparent as people get to know each other, not just from sex. I would put a big brake on the whole thing and ask to just spend some time together first.

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  • Don't do it. I can see you are under 18. I had sex with a guy on the second date when I was 16. I had the same thought process as you. He wanted nothing to do with me after that. I now wish, being older, that I had waited until I at least had a boyfriend.

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