I feel we should talk about it, am I right?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months now and we consider ourselves serious. Last night I asked my boyfriend about his past Ex girlfriends. I didn't realize the consequences of asking about his past. I guess I was curious because I'm 19 and this is my first real relationship.

I was never even asked out on a date in high school. He didn't seem to want to go into detail but he told me he had about 3 girlfriends in highschool, at this point I was fine with that. then he told me he had had some "flings" and even made out with his buddies girl while they were still dating. I couldn't say anything.

I was better off not knowing but I can't undo it. so I tried to understand why he would have "flings" and he got defensive and ended the conversation. the worst part is this was all over the phone. know I'm insecure about my self because A. I feel like I have hurt him or invaded his privacy and B. He has been my 1st for a lot of things (we are both still virgins if you were wondering) and he says he never did more than making out before me, but I still feel like he knows what he's doing and I don't have a clue. I just want to fix this.

We have never had a fight and I don't want this to turn into one, but I feel we should talk about it am I right? I want to say I'm sorry. how do I do this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When you ask those types of questions, you have to expect those types of answers, the truth hurts sometimes. Maybe he didn't want to talk about his exs b/c he could sense your insecurity. I know nobody wants to imagine their partner with somebody else, but this is not a perfect world we live in.

    You didn't invade his privacy, you just asked him a simple question and was trying to get to know him better. My advice is just Forget about it carry on with your relationship as if it never happened. When the tention passes,casually and quickly say sorry and move on. This is not something you can "fix", it's just an experience that every couple goes through. don't beat yourself up over it.

    dont talk about it untill it passes, if you feel the urge to say sorry say it in person and move on. You don't have to worrry if he's more experienced, maybe he can teach you a few things, what you're feeling is jealousy.

    PS: GUYS LIE especially about-oh yea you were the first one I did this with etc. Dont worry so much about it being the first time for things. just remember how special it is-first time or not. also maybe he didn't want to talk about it b/c he had something to hide-I think this is the true reason for your insequrity

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What Guys Said 2

  • Remember, all of these things are in the past. Just call him up and talk to him. He probably feels as bad about the whole thing as you do. If you feel like it, you could say you're sorry, and tell him you didn't mean to pry into his past. He was probably very uncomfortable even talking about it. Good luck!

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  • Just wondering why having flings upset you? Anyway, just bring it up casually next time you see him. Something like, " yeah, hey, the other night when we were talking, I didn't mean to upset you, so sorry if I did" that should work.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If he did not to want you to know he should have not told you. Just talk to him and tell him your concerns. You will be fine!

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  • If this guy told you himself without you forcing him to say anything, there's no harm. Next time when you guys speak just tell him how you feel about what he said to you about his past "flings." Sometimes guys tend to get defensive, I don't know why. Why did you want to know anyway, sometimes its better not know, all that matters right now is that you have each other. So don't worry about it. Everything will be okay.

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