Girls (only), why can't I win with you?

I'm beginning to think that it's pointless for me to try anymore because every time I like a girl, they just always wants another guy over me, even those guys who don't have confidence, or act like jerks.

And it's like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't because you have to show you're interested but you can't be too obvious otherwise it's unattractive. But if you're too subtle, they don't pick up on it. Please don't tell me that I need to find the "sweet spot" in between, and if you do, explain where it is. I can't even get to the part where you just get to hang out with her.

I don't NEED a girlfriend, but I when I like a girl, I would like to have a decent shot every once in a while. This bothers me so much because I feel like I don't count, I don't have a fair chance and any thing I have to give doesn't matter.

So, what now?

Updates:
Sorry for the jumble of emotions. Bear with me.
Every day I have to hear about the girls I like going/making out with other guys. Beginning to think I'm one of those rare people who never hooks up, ever.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I share what you're feeling.

    Everytime I like a guy it seems they have a girlfriend, have someone on their mind or they just recently broke up with their exs.

    Whilst I can be a good friend and listener by their side, I really feel quite upset about this whole thing. I start wondering what's wrong with me that I don't get what I want when I honestly think I'm a deserving woman.

    Ahh wells, I can't really give you any advice on this, but would just like you to know that you're not the only one feeling that same way. =)

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What Girls Said 3

  • change your attitude you have now. when you always think "she won't like me anyways" you'll never have success.

    just be confident, show you want her, respect her, support her...

    good luck ;)

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    • Thanks, but I've had bad luck doing exactly that :S Showing I want her works against me :(

  • Have you tried dating websites?

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    • Yes, but I haven't had success. When it starts looking good with a girl, I stop getting messages from her. I don't want to sound rude, but many people on dating sites act flaky like that.

  • Text her, Girls like attention! Hang out with her, even if its with a group of people. Girls also don't want to seem too attached. And they like boys to chase them! I know its weird but hang in there! but don't stay attached to one girl, hang out with a lot of girls, that way she realizes that if she likes you there is competition and if she wants you she has to get you now! Hope this helps!

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    • Sorry, it never works for me like this.

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    • Everyone is cut out for it, I guess its how you talked to them, or how you act around them, don't be clingy and text 24/7

    • How I talk to them is being myself: kind, respectful, funny

What Guys Said 4

  • So, you like girls (only) huh, well, me too! Now I'm going to give you advice. In addition to getting help here on GAG, try getting an unbiased opinion from girls that you know, or don't know, that can give you helpful insight about where improvement is needed. You may only need to alter a few minor things such as your hair or style to improve with the ladies, or could be a bit more major. Go with the advice here, then get outside help. Two ears are better than one.

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  • I've never "hooked up" with a girl before. I've put myself out there a lot, felt confident in myself and it just never ends up going my way - that's just the luck of the draw sometimes though. So all I can suggest is the advice I've been given myself which is to just stick at it and keep trying, be confident in yourself and make yourself seem better than all other options (via hobbies or interests or finding girls who are into the same stuff you are.)

    It might not happen overnight, and 5 months on, it hasn't happened for me yet, but I'm confident I'm getting better at talking to girls and hopefully, something will eventually work out. Good luck!

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  • Talk to her, don't be overly attached. Try to make yourself appear as the "reward", but of course be nice and respectful. We humans often like what we have to work a little for, rather what's given to us without any effort.

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    • How do you make yourself look like the reward?

    • One popular method is looking like you're about to leave when talking to her. don't do it for to long though or it'll get annoying :P What I mean is find a balance with giving attention and ignoring her.

  • Describe you last situation where you like a girl and it didn't pan out?

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