Chase a better mate, or stay in a bland stable relationship?

So, I've been in a 2 year relationship, but my girlfriend is putting on a lot of weight, and becoming more hostile and pessimistic. But our relationship has been stable. Recently, I met someone who makes me a lot happier, is a lot more attractive physically and mentally, and we agree on more than 30 times the things than with my pissy girlfriend. This other girl is like a long lost soul-mate. Should I ditch my stable relationship for a better, more fulfilling, and perfect mate?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, you should not settle if the current relationship is not making you happy.

    HOWEVER, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Perhaps this girl us only showing you her best side. If things go downhill with her, keep in mind your current girlfriend may not take you back (she shouldn't, IMO).

    If you're losing attraction, and hostility is rising for no reason (not counting for times you messed up and she has a legit reason to be angry, and vice versa with you), stability means nothing. Too many people settle, and it makes everyone involved unhappy.

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What Girls Said 22

  • I think you answered your own question. "We agree on more than 30 times the things than with my pissy girlfriend". I'm in a relationship right now and I would really never think to call him pissy, unless we were joking around, but in past relationships; when things got really bad, I would routinely get REALLY negative about my partner and subtlely put them down (not saying you are doing this!). But yeah, I say get out. And just another tip: give yourself time to get over the past relationship. You may not want to jump right in with this other girl too soon.

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  • Yes. One should always strive for the best fit and not stay with someone merely because it is comfortable and safe.

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  • I am in the neutural

    I agree with others, saying that you are young and you can chase better.

    What I do not disagree is there's no better one. The best one is the one who loves you and cares about you. You think she is your soul mate, because you haven't have her, she will turn out to be normal as exactly the same as your girlfriend after you guys date for a while, you will find out.

    And you should concern about your girlfriend, there must be something going on with her. and you can go back to see what your girlfriend was when you started to date, did you think ever think she was your soul mate too?

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  • Give the long lost soul frined a little more time to see if you feel this way in a while, meantime talk to your girlfriend, and be honest about your concern for her weight gain. so you won't blindside her when you leave. Tell her that you feel that she's hostile. She might have a reason. But do what feels right.

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  • You're young. Do what you want. But, it sounds as if your girlfriend may be going through some things. Maybe try to talk to her about it?

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  • You're only 17 so go for it. If you're not very happy in your relationship even though it's stable then what's the point of even being in a relationship? The way I look at relationships isn't about looking for Ms. Right but looking for Ms. Right-Now and hopefully they end up dropping the now. Don't worry about tomorrow when all we really have is today, so just do whatever will make you happy.

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  • Honestly your current relationship isn't healthy if you are thinking about others. If you truly loved someone you wouldn't have your mind on another.

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  • Ditch your girlfriend. I think you would be a lot happier with a girl who understands you and treats you right, you should never settle.

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  • weigh the pros and cons.

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  • If you feel happier with the other girl, it's unfair to keep you unhappy and string her along. But just let her down softly, okay? And don't mention the weight, it's not fair to say that on top of everything else.

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  • Do not give up on your girlfriend. I've had that experience but I ended up going back to the one I was originally with. There will be more compatible or attractive people out there but that doesn't mean you leave the one you love and go with them.

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  • you sound ready to move on :-)

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  • I am on both sides of this. I feel like yes you should because you should do anything that makes you happy. Don't stay in a relationship that you aren't happy in. But then I say no, you've been in it for 2 years. She's gotta mean something to you that would stop you from dumping her for something better. There must be something that caused you to hold on. I wouldn't advice to give up so soon. Talk to her. Maybe there is something going on you don't know about.

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  • I think if you are unhappy and have lost interest in your relationship with your girlfriend than spare her the lies and break up with her. However, if you have interest in your girlfriend talk to her about the issues in the relationship. If they just can't be worked out then I'm sorry to say , but maybe your relationship isn't meant to be.

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  • Yes! Life's too short!

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  • Let your girlfriend down easy. You should not be in a relationship your not happy with.

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  • If you feel that it is better fir you why not but be carefull to not break her heart

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  • I'm kind of in the same situation. I wish I was with the person I loved instead if the person I'm stuck with. It's harder to leave than people think but I know I will some day and I know my soulmate will be there for me when I do

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  • she's a newer shinier toy and she's not yours yet...that's why she seems so alluring and exciting, and that's why you haven't found anything to disagree with her about yet,...doesn't mean she'll bring you anymore fulfillment in the long run.

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    • The new girl and I have the exact same aspirations and dreams. My current girlfriend has different goals that conflict with my own, so we are destined to part ways in the long run. That's what makes this scenario so tragic.

  • Ditch the current girl but do it first before you go any further with the other girl. Nobody should stay in an unhealthy relationship. It may be stable in your eyes but the way you describe your current girlfriend it doesn't seem stable to me.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, I think it's a good idea. You should go for a more fulfilling relationship. The number of things you agreen on (which is high in your case) is a good predictor of a long and healthy relationship. You'll lose nothing.

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  • chase the better mate

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