Why won't she leave this abusive ex-boyfriend? And is there anything more I can do?

Putting a very long story short, this girl, we'll call her Stacy, dated a guy 'Rick' for over a year. As we found out later Rick had really been only interested in trying to get Stacy's roommate to hook up with him, but contented with hooking up with Stacy until that happened. He kept getting more and more insistent though, and eventually told Stacy he'd break up with her unless she convinced her roommate to sleep with him. Stacy couldn't believe what was going on, and had really fallen hard for Rick believing he cared only for her. She broke up with him... but only because her roommate flat out refused to sleep with Rick.

It's been 2 years. I became close friends with Stacy, and we dated briefly early on until she randomly left me one night and hooked up with Rick. She later showed me the text she got from him that he was going to cut himself if she didn't... but after that I couldn't trust Stacy enough to date her again. It wasn't til Rick threatened to rape Stacy's roommate that I stepped in, called the police, and got in contact with the guy's parents (he's a 21 year old at college), who put him in a mental hospital for 3 months.

He's out now, and once again harassing Stacy. Stacy still cares for the guy, but is refusing to hook up with him for obvious reasons. Which is pissing off Rick, who just wants to get laid at this point. I found out last night when I ran into Stacy crying in the street that he was threatening to cut himself 'because of her' again. She was going to him to try to talk him out of it.

I've told Stacy repeatedly she just needs to accept he's going to be angry with her (he is all the time anyway) and cut ties with him, she isn't responsible. She just won't.

Is there anything I can possibly do here?

also what the heck... did NOT put this under sexuality


Most Helpful Guy

  • Besides the room mate, everyone involved in this story is an idiot

    Your an idiot for multiple reasons, trying to save someone who CLEARLY does not want to be saved and then getting involved with someone who openly bailed on you to hook up with their demented ex ?

    Stacey is a complete idiot

    Rick is an idiot but at least he is psychologically corrupt and has half an excuse

    everyone is a idiot

    You deserved to be tangled up in this tragic triangle...

    I just don't know how you can stand there and allow yourself to be slapped multiple times in the face by this girl

    I really don't

    • For starters, I DID ditch this girl. She kept trying to get back with me after I got him thrown in to the hospital. I just can't ignore a crying girl, especially someone that I do at least care somewhat for. Believe me, I have no intention of dating her again, I was just hoping someone had an idea of what I could tell her to do, cause I sure as hell don't


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What Girls Said 1

  • No she has to be willing to walk away you can warn her but until she is ready she wont


What Guys Said 4

  • im not gonna say what other said I know it sounds played out but you might need to have him incarcarated for harasment it has clearly worked on your nervs and hers she feels guilt for this looser even though she left him she does not want to see him hert himself because of the immage she may of had of him at one point. you also need to have her set up with a relationship therapist. I understand if she is your friend or if you still have feelings for her. but every one needs to distance them self from ""rick"" she needs deleat his number and get a new one I can't think of much else but he needs to be called out on his crap and pay for his manipulative actions call the cops again

  • yes you can. stay away from her. she's crazy. as much if not even more than this rick guy.

  • Because women choose the losers and jerks, effectively, shaping the dating scene.

  • Dude there's dumb girls like her everywhere.u have to look a lot harder for a decent girl with common sense.i was stupid enough to fall for a girl that was in a dimilar situation...you could do so much to pull them aeay from guys like rick and theyll still keep going back to guys like him.you just have to learn to let go of her.it will take a while for you to stop thinking about her but itll happen eventually.just be patiwnt.its hard but it pays off in the end..nice guys always make it to the finish line players burn out quick and don't always make it to the end