He says I'm too possessive

My boyfriend says I'm too possessive because he quotes I constantly asks him about his whereabouts. I feel its not fair to make me feel like its wrong for me to ask him where he is because when he goes out he tends to act like I don't exist. for instance. he went out with his friends telling me he'll be home this was at 9pm then come 12am I call him 3 times to no answer and only to get a text that says I can't talk now I'll explain later. I call again at 3am wondering because I was worried 3 times and no answer...he gets home the next day at 11 and says I'm leaving because I have to fix her(his friend) door. now this "her" is his friend that I have met, but the past few days he has been constantly spending time with her on his days off and they go off having dinner and lunch meetings without me knowing until I ask him after he has done it. they send each other pictures as I've seen her pics in his phone and he says they are friends. now wouldn't you wonder? I'm not the jealous type at all but when I feel I must I do. its only natural I am his girlfriend. then he goes of telling my friends that I'm too possessive or that my brother (he is 9) whom I take care of is "ruining our relationship" then he goes of telling me he feels stuck but I've told him he is not bound to anything at all. he says I want to know too much about what he is doing.meaning every detail which is not the case. one time he and her went to salinas to see her;s dad and they spent the night at her aunts house without me knowing that he was going to spend the night there until they got there. I feel as if I'm just the one on the side only available when needed. does that make me possessive at all?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Homg. I just posted a question about this... he's totally friggen gaslighting you!"Gaslighting, the increasingly popular term for the various ways in which men convince women that they're "crazy," "over-reacting," or "hysterical." Gaslighting's goal is simple: Get you to tone down that oh-so-scary lady rage that frightens the menfolk. Men "gaslight" women by convincing the ladies that they're crazy and hypersensitive. It's a whole lot easier to emotionally manipulate someone who has been conditioned by our society to accept it," Yashar wrote; "we continue to burden women because they don't refuse our burdens as easily. It's the ultimate cowardice." Ali uses "gaslighting" to refer to the way in which men delegitimize women's anger."

    Here's the link if you're interested link

    But ya, you shouldn't have to know where he is 24/7, but if he's out until the middle of the night with some random broad then you have the friggen right to ask him where he is.. and being concerned does not make you possessive. He's just trying to turn around his actions so you seem at fault. Women's intuition is a wonderful thing. Trust your gut, something is seriously off with this guy! He feels "stuck" but won't just break up with you so he's acting out.

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    • then that makes him weak for what he does. He wrote me a birthday card and made it sound like he was writing to a friend. wow. I realize it now. thank you

What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like this girl is more than a friend...and he wants out of your relationship, but doesn't want to tell you that straight out.

    Time to make a move, yourself!

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    • I feel the same way..i think of it the same way... so sad... guys are so troublesome... why are they so troublesome... no matter what you do..

  • There is nothing wrong with you boy, you're great :)

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What Girls Said 0

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