Is this sound reason to be upset with my boyfriend?

My boyfriend can be a pretty sweet guy from time to time. The problem however is that he kind of puts me on the back burner for his friends and family.

For instance just last weekend I called him up upset and crying about something that had really bothered me. He tells me that he'd call me back so that we can talk about it. So I waited for him to call me back a whole hour passes and he still hadn't called me back. So I call him to see what's up. He doesn't answer so I send him a text asking him if he was going to call me back. His reply was "I am". Of course by now I'm a little suspicious so I ask him if he's busy or something and all he says is that he is at the club with his friends and that he wouldn't be able to hear me on the phone if he'd answered my calls.

So its like WTF! THEN comes today I found out that I won't be receiving my UI benefits due to me using up my benefits before the span of a year that it is suppose to last. Naturally I'm devastated he calls me up and we talk for a few minutes about it and then he tells me he'll call me back because his friend had called him. Which I understood and was cool with because his friend's deceased wife's birthday was today. Well he calls me MUCH later the following day actually around 12am. He makes it home and we talk for a few minutes and he tells me he'll call me back because he has to talk with his mom. He never called me back

He basically kept putting me off. I called him up and confronted him about it he simply said he thought I'd fallen asleep and just figured he'd call me tomorrow. I told him that despite that he said he'd call me back. He then was upset that I called him in the middle of the night. But I was upset and angry that he even thought it was just okay to do that. I wanted an explanation.

Was I out of line for that? Or were my actions justified?


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What Guys Said 1

  • An hour isn't that long. Nor is excusing oneself if a friend is very troubled. He wasn't mean to you.

    But you have needs too. So here is what you do: instead of confronting him, tell him what your needs are. He wants to know. Tell him you'd like to make a time when he says he will call back. That way, you don't get upset waiting and he knows what uou expect from him.

    This is how guys work. In "tasks".

    Tell us "you never call back on time" and we have no clue what exactly is expected of us. Plus, we feel accused of failure.

    Tell us "I would like it if you told me a time you can call" and we have a clear understanding what we can do right.

    You are upset because you expected a different behavior than what he did and not at the things he actually did. That's why its so complicated and you are unsure if you should be mad. But if you tell him what you want, both of you will he happier.

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    • OMG, you're SO right! Yeah I'm going to talk with him about it later today. I think that's what it is too. If we both have an understanding of when he'll do things I wouldn't be so judgmental about it. Thank you so much!

    • You are most welcome.

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