Did he just want sex?

OK, I'm married but that is besides the point I'm going to make. I'm happily married but this other guy isn't. He is my landlord and he has shown some great interest in liking me for as long as I am renting his house. I'm moving this weekend because I do have feelings for him in which my husband knows but the heart can't help feel what it wants to feel. So I am moving to protect my marriage and I have not cheated on my husband or anything. In fact I didn't even touch the guy (landlord). I feel like he has been trying to pursue me and yes I know he wants sex but is that all a guy would want if he has been pursuing me for 8 months? I know I'm his tenant but he usually would flirt with me, and has stopped by my house to pick up a few things but he did it all sneakily. Plus he was sneaking around my house a few weeks ago when I was home alone and tried to get in (which is the main reason why I'm moving). I got a couple of unknown calls which I'm not sure if it was him or not but only businesses and my family and him have my number (he has never called me before) unless it was him who was the unknown caller. I'm just confused because even though he is a really shy guy, and he has made a couple of advances, I refused. Would a guy really try so hard just to get a woman into bed? And I am asking this for my own curiosity. Thanks so much!

Updates:
Also, I forgot to mention thatmy landlord and his wife are both swingers so him trying to pursue me or other women is allowed in his open marriage.
Thanks for your honest opinions everyone! :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As you clearly understand (good!), any and every guy who shows interest in you will want sex, so that doesn't tell you anything. They only real way to know if a guy wants more than that is to make him commit to a relationship and to wait a while before having sex.

    Of course, you can't do that, because you're already married, but if you were single, that's how you would know. If you have sex with a guy before you have a commitment from him, then 99% of the time, it's just sex to him, and you'll NEVER get a commitment. And if you tell a guy that you need a commitment first, usually the guys who just want sex will lose interest, because it's easier to find someone else to get sex from than to commit to something they don't want. The problem is that too many girls are afraid that he WILL lose interest (because she doesn't want him to), so she'll give up the sex without a commitment, and by doing that, screws up any chance of ever getting a commitment from him.

    Bottom line: there's no way to know if a guy just wants sex, or wants something more, unless you insist upon a commitment before sex, and then make him wait for sex for a little while. And obviously that route isn't available to you anyway.

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What Guys Said 6

  • First of all, thank you for restoring some of my faith in humanity and women. It sucks you have been put in this situation but I'm glad to see that you aren't giving into your urges and have decided to move away to protect your marriage which is a serious bond you have both figuratively and legally made.

    To answer your question more directly, its hard to say since he is a swinger. Normally a guy wouldn't pursue a girl for 8 months if all he wanted was sex. Then again, in a way what he may be asking for is kind of a hybrid of the two. He wants sex, but also more of a long term type sexual relationship where as him and his wife can continue to have relations with you. Maybe because you are renting his house, he has easy access and as a result, pursuing you for 8months really hasn't been all that much work, even for just sex.

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  • Yes and yes, and you are right to want to get away from this guy. As the scenario proves he does not respect the concept and boundaries of a monogomous relationship, at least when it comes to other people aside from himself, look up narcissistic personality disorder. Oh yiiikes swingers ruuuuun ruuuuuuuun ROFLMAO

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    • lol. I know right? It's like he feels entitiled or something. And in the beginning of Spring this year, I was away for a week but he had come over and then when the next week he came over again to mow my lawn, he goes, "You eren't hee last week" and gives me a look. So I gave him a look like, so? And then I was wondering what the heck?

    • Yeah it's hard for people with the "open relationship" mindset to grasp other people's concept of relationship monogamy as I found out with one of my girls friends besties cornering me at home and flat out offering to be my mistress #awkward

  • Yes... yes guys would. Some guys are into trying to get stuff they know they shouldn't/ is hard to get. I think it is sensible you moved away from him to protect your marriage I would break all contact with the guy. Creeping around your house while your home alone sounds kind of sketchy.

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  • did I read it right? your husband knows about your feelings towards this landlord? how so?

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    • I told him I was attracted to our landlord and had feelings for him when my husband and I were fighting a a month ago. We were almost going to get a divorce but we talked a whole lot and now we are happier than ever and now we are moving.

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    • R you actually telling me that you have never wanted another man's woman? You seriously have never been attracted or wanted that woman for one night? C'mon. For me, this doesn't happen all of the time. I guess I just want to ease my conscience over the fact that it wouldn't be so bad if he wanted to have sex with me because he cared vs the fact that he only wants sex because he loves sex. Also, I am really just curious on what goes on inside a man's mind by a guy who isn't afraid to be honest.

    • there's a big difference between being attracted to someone on a visual basis and having feelings for someone. BIG difference.

      being attracted to someone on a visual basis is something completely normal. you see some hot chick on a street and you're automatically attracted to her. and of course I'm attracted to many women either I'm in a serious relationship or not.

      but having feelings towards someone else automatically means failed relationship. never happened, if it would, I would break up

  • He probably only wants sex but he is clearly a scummy guy as I am guessing you made it clear to him that you are not interested. Good idea to move but if these problems keep on happening you can only run so many times

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    • Well this is the first time it has happened. My hubby and I moved from our home town to come here, so this is the house we chose to rent but it's only been 8 months so now we are moving somewhere else where it's a lot quieter. I don't think we'll have any problems.

    • Good-best of luck to you

  • you f***ing slut.

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    • Maybe you need reading glasses. Why don't you read my post again.

    • he's just trolling you.

    • I know it may seem like it to you. But temptation is everwhere. People are going to be attracted to more than just one person. But it takes a person with integrity not to act upon his/her feelings.

What Girls Said 2

  • He sounds like a major creeper. He has no business trying to get into your home uninvited.

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  • Sounds like a stalker >.<

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    • He has done other things before too. Like I felt he expected me to be here whenever he came by to mow the lawn and then my town had a fair going on and he's like, "you weren't there." And he would get mad if I ignored him or wouldn't give him attention. And also when I was gone for a couple of weeks with my hubby to get away, we came back and saw him watching the house from the burger joint up the street. So we sat in the car and saw him pass by our house (the opposite way of where he lives).

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    • It was a magnet with a bible verse on it. It said "Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10. I don't know why he didn't just take one of my betty boop ones but who knows. lol.

    • Haha wow. I would tell my dad if anythin like happened to me.. But he's a cop so it's different lol

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