Do I take Advantage of guys? My friend thinks I do? What do you think?

So here's the thing I'm an independent person, but I'm not a afraid to ask for help when I really need to.

I had a guy friend walking my dog for a week (because I was injured), I had another guy friend cooking for me, and small things like that.

Today I was with my friend in the line to buy ticket trains, and I didn't have any change a guy behind us was hearing our conversation and offer to give me coins to pay the ticket at first I refused but he insisted so much that I end up accepting. Well my friend than told me something like " Why are you always using your looks to get guys to do whatever you want, that's so messed up"

I was really offended because it's not like I seduce flirt with guys to get my way, I simply ask I don't force anything, and I'm not good looking enough to pull that off, besides lots of times the guys offer to help don't even ask.

I told her that some people are actually really nice and friendly and she laugh in my face.

What do you think do I take advantage of guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, without question, these guys are doing you these favors because they are attracted to you and are hoping for something in return: a phone number, a date, maybe even sex. When they don't get any of those things, they will FEEL taken advantage of. Some guys might just blow it off, but others will feel like you intentionally used them, and you'll develop a repuation for being a user eventually, and then guys will avoid you.

    Even further, you help reinforce the perception that pretty girls use their looks to get stuff out of guys, so you aren't harming just your own reputation, but that of pretty girls everywhere.

    Assuming these guys aren't long-time friends, you should assume (because it's almost always true) that if they're doing things for you, that they're expecting something in return, and that's always some form of "romantic attention."

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What Guys Said 9

  • Well the things guys have done for you that you've posted don't seem like you're using your looks to take advantage of them at all, they just happen to be nice enough.

    As long as you're not actually seeming to be helpless or know that your looks can help you out, then it seems your friend is just a bit jealous of the fact that guys are helping you out.

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  • Yes.

    It's their choice. But your friends assessment that they are all doing it to impress you because they want you is almost certainly accurate.

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  • Nothing is wrong with asking for help. But you can't do that today in our society because it comes with a hidden intention.

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  • She's just jealous because guys help you and not her

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  • If its only guys doing this for you, you gotta think if that's a coincidence or not. Truth is it sounds like you take advantage of guys because of your looks. I'm not saying you do it on purpose or you're flirtatious, but it's a fact guys like doing small things for attractive girls. Example: I hold doors for all girls under 30

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  • Well guys are not extra nice just for the sake of being nice, there's always second intentions behind it.

    I don't think you take advantage of guys but you are extremely naive

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  • Well,I'm not insulting you, but yeah, you do take advantage. Your probably a lot prettier then you think with a great figure, and that leads these men on. Maybe you should decline these offerings so you don't lead them on. Your friends are probably jealous.

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  • Hey, if they offer and you aren't manipulating, I see no problem. I'd probably walk my friends dog if her leg was broken..

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  • You don't flirt with guys, you say? Perhaps those gentlemen offered to do those things in hopes of gaining your affections, then. Fools.

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What Girls Said 4

  • You're not taking advantage. But guys who help you out would certainly be interested in you. Also, your friend sounds mean :/

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  • I don't know about the first two things you mentioned but I see no problem with the third. Your friend is majorly jealous or she wouldn't have added, "that's so messed up". If she was trying to correct you, she wouldn't have insulted you at the same time.

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  • no, you are not taking advantage of them. guys do this a lot in the HOPE of getting a return on their investment. But the truth is you've offered nothing, so you owe them nothing. Any guy who does something for a girl based on her looks, age, etc. dress deserves what he gets--even if he gets used. Guys don't do this stuff to other girls, girls they find unattractive, etc. its shallow for a guy to be kind and helpful to a "hot chick" and totally ignore the so-called "plain jane." Studies have been done to prove that this actually happens. And quite frankly, I don't see anything wrong with it if the guy is willing to do it.

    Your friend is wrong, you are not taking advantage of the guy, the guys are taking advantage of themselves. I used to be a tomboy when I was a young girl and teen--never wore makeup, dress, whatever, then one day, BAM, nature hit me and I blossomed. So I've lived both sides of the coin. It irks me sometimes when I think about how shallow guys can be. Anyone who said girl were shallow, obviously has not spent enough time with guys! No offense, guys, but you're just as bad as women, though.

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    • agreed.

      QA, people are not nice, not as much as you think, they do it for your p****. Anyone else would be most likely dumped to the trash and sh*t on.

  • If a guy is willing to do it then what's the problem? She's just probably jealous because nobody does it for her. You're not twisting their arm, they want to do it and we all know they have their own motives for doing things for you so how are you taking advantage when they know what the deal is? If they're gonna help make your life easier then keep on doing it

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