I'm not into romantic comedies/chick flicks/etc but I was recently forced to watch 'He's Just Not That Into You'. Minus the unbelievable Hollywood romance that made me want to throw up in my mouth a bit, the movie was funny and brought up some things that made me think about relationship dynamics.
For anyone that doesn't know the movie, here's the quick overview. If you know it already, skip to the question.
Justin Long plays this womanizer, player type guy who gives dating advice to the hopelessly romantic-heart-on-my-sleeve character Gigi (I don't know the actress' name). Basically his 'rules' when it comes to men include
1) if a guy is interested he will contact the girl, he will find a way to see her and make things happen
2) what you see is what you get. Don't read into things he says or does, take everything for face value, and never assume
3) Guys don't change, don't expect them to change
4) there are people who break through the generalized rules, but if you live by the exception you'll be burned by the rules
Would you say these are true? Thought, opinions, and anony answers welcome :)
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Most Helpful Guy
Alright... Elaboration as requested. =D
1) If a guy is interested he won't always contact the girl... First things first, about 25-40% of the population are introverts. These people show a tendency toward being more reserved and less outspoken. At first, they may sit back and watch and never find the right words, the confidence, etc. to ever approach the girl they are interested in. If they manage to even talk to her, they may end up friend zoning themselves because they are so scared to take the next step. If they make the leap to get her number, they may pace back in forth in their living room struggling to call because they just don't know what to say. =P
Second, if a guy is confident and interested, sure he's likely to approach the girls he is interested in and strike up a conversation, get her number, and make an effort to date her, but he is going to constantly look for feedback from her. She needs to contract him as well and express interest. If she's not reciprocating his interest, then he's going to be thinking what's with this girl, she's not giving back... She's just taking, and he'll probably realize this girl is only interested 20% or whatever and stop contacting her. He might of been interested, but it seems she's not.
Third, the only guy that will hopelessly contact the girl no matter what is the guy that every single girl on the planet runs away from. If he's love drunk, sure he might find a way to see her and contact her no matter what, but it's likely he'll get labeled a stalker... =P
Women need to put in effort as well. If they just sit and wait for the guy all the time so they can determine if the guy is interested, then they will only end up with the crazies that never let up. =D
2) While you should never assume something, things aren't always as they seem. That's why couples talk. lol =P You could be right to over think things at times. While men are men when we are with other men and say directly what we mean to each other, when feelings enter our heads sometimes things get a little more complicated.
If you have a man that is totally distant and cold and is just dating you for sex and company, sure, what he says is probably what he means, but once he lets you in to his little world and starts to care about you, the picture might get a little blurry. =P
3) You should never try to change a guy. You can't change another person through force, but that is not to say guys don't change. We all change, every last one of us... We grow as people, and relationships help us along that path. Look at any couple that has been together for a while and you will see how they've grown together. Both of them have changed, they have picked up little behaviors, and they have learned to be considerate of each other, to compromise, etc. It's not that the girl changed him or that he changed to keep her. It's that he has grown through experience and learned a few things about himself. Relationships tend to help you reflect upon yourself.