Guys: would you say these rules are true?

I'm not into romantic comedies/chick flicks/etc but I was recently forced to watch 'He's Just Not That Into You'. Minus the unbelievable Hollywood romance that made me want to throw up in my mouth a bit, the movie was funny and brought up some things that made me think about relationship dynamics.

For anyone that doesn't know the movie, here's the quick overview. If you know it already, skip to the question.

Justin Long plays this womanizer, player type guy who gives dating advice to the hopelessly romantic-heart-on-my-sleeve character Gigi (I don't know the actress' name). Basically his 'rules' when it comes to men include

1) if a guy is interested he will contact the girl, he will find a way to see her and make things happen

2) what you see is what you get. Don't read into things he says or does, take everything for face value, and never assume

3) Guys don't change, don't expect them to change

4) there are people who break through the generalized rules, but if you live by the exception you'll be burned by the rules

Would you say these are true? Thought, opinions, and anony answers welcome :)

  • True
    9% (1)14% (2)12% (3)Vote
  • Mostly true
    82% (9)64% (9)72% (18)Vote
  • Mostly false
    9% (1)22% (3)16% (4)Vote
  • False
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Interesting responses. thanks!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright... Elaboration as requested. =D

    1) If a guy is interested he won't always contact the girl... First things first, about 25-40% of the population are introverts. These people show a tendency toward being more reserved and less outspoken. At first, they may sit back and watch and never find the right words, the confidence, etc. to ever approach the girl they are interested in. If they manage to even talk to her, they may end up friend zoning themselves because they are so scared to take the next step. If they make the leap to get her number, they may pace back in forth in their living room struggling to call because they just don't know what to say. =P

    Second, if a guy is confident and interested, sure he's likely to approach the girls he is interested in and strike up a conversation, get her number, and make an effort to date her, but he is going to constantly look for feedback from her. She needs to contract him as well and express interest. If she's not reciprocating his interest, then he's going to be thinking what's with this girl, she's not giving back... She's just taking, and he'll probably realize this girl is only interested 20% or whatever and stop contacting her. He might of been interested, but it seems she's not.

    Third, the only guy that will hopelessly contact the girl no matter what is the guy that every single girl on the planet runs away from. If he's love drunk, sure he might find a way to see her and contact her no matter what, but it's likely he'll get labeled a stalker... =P

    Women need to put in effort as well. If they just sit and wait for the guy all the time so they can determine if the guy is interested, then they will only end up with the crazies that never let up. =D

    2) While you should never assume something, things aren't always as they seem. That's why couples talk. lol =P You could be right to over think things at times. While men are men when we are with other men and say directly what we mean to each other, when feelings enter our heads sometimes things get a little more complicated.

    If you have a man that is totally distant and cold and is just dating you for sex and company, sure, what he says is probably what he means, but once he lets you in to his little world and starts to care about you, the picture might get a little blurry. =P

    3) You should never try to change a guy. You can't change another person through force, but that is not to say guys don't change. We all change, every last one of us... We grow as people, and relationships help us along that path. Look at any couple that has been together for a while and you will see how they've grown together. Both of them have changed, they have picked up little behaviors, and they have learned to be considerate of each other, to compromise, etc. It's not that the girl changed him or that he changed to keep her. It's that he has grown through experience and learned a few things about himself. Relationships tend to help you reflect upon yourself.

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    • 4) If you stick to generalizations about the opposite gender and are not adaptable to the person you are seeing, you're generally f***ed. =P

What Guys Said 9

  • Women are so hung up on 'rules', 'codes', 'tricks'.

    I don't want to go on a rant again about how women choose the wrong guys but I saw that movie and it was very typical. It's easy to see ourselves when a friend is hopelessly pursuing the wrong guy, but we can not judge our own choices clearly. If a friend tells you it is a good idea or not, take it from them. Guys generally don't play 'hard to get', so yes, even if he is ridiculously shy or insecure, he'll be trying to be near you. Most guys don't play mind games, at least not the good guys, if he smiles at you, yes, he thinks you are at least good company. If he ignores you, he doesn't like you. If he has sex with you and doesn't call back, you were used.

    Guys really don't change, maybe they can act something for a little while, but if you scratch a liar you'll find a cheater, and all the apologizing and promising aside, he'll probably never change. The forth speaks for itself. Ofcourse there are exceptions, but I hardly know guys that don't fit these rules and I know a lot of guys.

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  • I agree with what aMuse said.

    In my opinion, The truth is the dating game has no rules.

    "Rules are meant to be broken, if you follow the rules, let yourself be guided by them, then you are only limiting your capabilities."

    There is nothing wrong with following a certain dating guideline but you should only limit it to a couple. Why? well if you have too many, then it will create a controversy and that equals = no self direction.

    Neil Strauss (aka the father of players or the best pickup artist) wrote many books about the dating game. I only limited my rules to the rules of body language, and that made me more successful than ever. But what I said is if you just want to date and not have a serious relationship.

    If you want to have a serious relationship, then you have to let it happen. You have to let love do its thing naturally. If you force a relationship to a certain direction, then you'll drive it off a cliff. Trust me, love is chaotic, love defies god.

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  • 1) I think is true (unless she shows obvious signs that she is not interested (and that does not even work on some men))

    2) True

    3) I think that, Guys do change! But don't expect them to. They do when they want to.

    4) More or less yes. Find your own way. Perhaps you will be one of those exceptional people.

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  • 1) Not true. Not every guy is that confident. Some guys are shy. Now, since some girls claim they like a shy guy, you've already got a problem there.

    2) Pretty much true, but also, pretty much impossible for girls to believe or accept. So, kind of irrelevant.

    3) Mostly true. Guys can change, but they often don't. They usually need a damn good reason.

    4) Yeah, I'd agree with this.

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    • >Pretty much true, but also, pretty much impossible for girls to believe or accept. So, kind of irrelevant.

      I agree with this! Great answer!

  • 1) he will contact the girl a couple times and if she flakes on the plans then he will let her get back to him when she can or assume she is not interested.

    2) he could b lying but usually yes.

    3) they can but don't expect them to.

    4) this rule doesn't apply specifically to men but I guess it makes sense.

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  • Oh man. I watched maybe the first 15-30 minutes of that and couldn't watch any more. My god it was terrible lol. Way worse than most chick flicks.

    If aMuse doesn't get Best Answer, I don't know what /would/ deserve it...

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  • 1. Not all the time.

    2. Kind of.

    3. True.

    4. True, but these rules are not exactly true.

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  • Not really. =P

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    • Awwwww c'mon gimmie some elaboration on your answer! :D

  • lol Justin Long being a womanizer. As if he could actually get multiple women, let alone one. :D

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