My boyfriend's ex won't stay out of his life & he's not doing much about it...

is it wrong of me to break up with my boyfriend of almost 9 mo because of his ex gf?

she won't get out of his life, and even an old roommate of his/good friend said today that she still keeps in contact with his family and friends just for the sake of thinking that it will somehow keep her connected to my boyfriend and that they'll get back together. his friend even questioned why my bf's parents still talk to her at all.

my bf's best friend is almost always in contact with her, and has now even brought HIS girlfriend into contact with her (even though the only reason why he knew my bf's ex was because of my bf). my bf's friend/old roommate said that was wrong, and I believe it is too, but my boyfriend just refuses to see it that way and makes excuses for it.

i found some old emails that my bf's ex sent to him a few months before we started dating and she was begging for him back. then a few days before he asked me out I found out that she had sent him emails about taking one trip to Europe and another to the Bahamas. I also found more emails from her that she sent when my boyfriend and I have been together begging him to Skype with her and hear her out about things.

as far as I know, there have been no responses on my bf's part, but what makes me most upset and hurt is that he won't stand up to his "best friend" about being in contact with her, or to his parents about it either.

it bothers me so much that she's forcing herself into his life in every way possible but he is pretty passive about it. the most he says is that he loves me and that he has NO feelings for her and doesn't talk to her at all but why does he CHOOSE to not stand up to his "friends" and parents about it?

I just feel like she's always going to be there, and never go away...and there's no room for 3 people in a 2 person relationship.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. "my bf's best friend is almost always in contact with her, and has now even brought HIS girlfriend into contact with her (even though the only reason why he knew my bf's ex was because of my bf)."

    The reason that they met is irrelevant, and their mutual connection to your boyfriend is irrelevant. If you become friends with someone you meet through a friend, but then they have a falling out, you don't have to stop being friends with either of them. That's not how things work.

    Your boyfriend's refusal to see things that way is correct, because that's a stupid, childish way of seeing things.

    "as far as I know, there have been no responses on my bf's part, but what makes me most upset and hurt is that he won't stand up to his "best friend" about being in contact with her, or to his parents about it either."

    Again, that's just not how things work. You don't get to tell someone else who they can and can't be friendly and cordial to. It's wrong of you to expect his best friend to stop being friends with his ex, and it's wrong of you to expect your boyfriend to tell his parents to be a**holes to her.

    "it bothers me so much that she's forcing herself into his life in every way possible but he is pretty passive about it."

    He's already said his piece to her. The best thing he can do now is ignore her, which he's doing.

    "the most he says is that he loves me and that he has NO feelings for her and doesn't talk to her at all but why does he CHOOSE to not stand up to his "friends" and parents about it?"

    Because he shouldn't need to "stand up" to his friends and parents about it. Are you getting this yet? His friend can be friends with his ex. That's OKAY. His parents can answer her phone calls and not be d***s to her. That's OKAY.

    Your obsession over this is going to accomplish absolutely nothing except prove how jealous and unreasonable you can be. Keep obsessing over it, and your relationship is going to end, either because you can't get over it, or because he can't deal with you not being able to.

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