My boyfriend's ex won't stay out of his life & he's not doing much about it...

is it wrong of me to break up with my boyfriend of almost 9 mo because of his ex gf? she won't get out of his life, and even an old roommate of his/good friend said today that she still keeps in contact with his family and friends just for the sake of thinking that it will somehow keep her... Show More

Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. "my bf's best friend is almost always in contact with her, and has now even brought HIS girlfriend into contact with her (even though the only reason why he knew my bf's ex was because of my bf)."

    The reason that they met is irrelevant, and their mutual connection to your boyfriend is irrelevant. If you become friends with someone you meet through a friend, but then they have a falling out, you don't have to stop being friends with either of them. That's not how things work.

    Your boyfriend's refusal to see things that way is correct, because that's a stupid, childish way of seeing things.

    "as far as I know, there have been no responses on my bf's part, but what makes me most upset and hurt is that he won't stand up to his "best friend" about being in contact with her, or to his parents about it either."

    Again, that's just not how things work. You don't get to tell someone else who they can and can't be friendly and cordial to. It's wrong of you to expect his best friend to stop being friends with his ex, and it's wrong of you to expect your boyfriend to tell his parents to be a**holes to her.

    "it bothers me so much that she's forcing herself into his life in every way possible but he is pretty passive about it."

    He's already said his piece to her. The best thing he can do now is ignore her, which he's doing.

    "the most he says is that he loves me and that he has NO feelings for her and doesn't talk to her at all but why does he CHOOSE to not stand up to his "friends" and parents about it?"

    Because he shouldn't need to "stand up" to his friends and parents about it. Are you getting this yet? His friend can be friends with his ex. That's OKAY. His parents can answer her phone calls and not be d***s to her. That's OKAY.

    Your obsession over this is going to accomplish absolutely nothing except prove how jealous and unreasonable you can be. Keep obsessing over it, and your relationship is going to end, either because you can't get over it, or because he can't deal with you not being able to.