so this girl has been my bff since we were like 8. she has always made bad guy decisions and her latest boyfriend is one of the worst. he gives me some weird feelings. She is also not telling me things about him. I just want to have some manly insight about the things he is doing. first off, he is 28 and she just made 23. when they met through her sister she said was "living at his parents"(which I later discovered was that he was actually living in a shed with a window unit in the back yard). he was in the army, just got back from iraq and was trying to get on his feet so he didn't have a car. well they start seeing each other. on double dates she drives and pays like I assume anything else they do. within the first weeks of their relationship he always would stay the night with her. She still lives with her parents, so I thought that was weird. Three months into the relationship he is talking about marrying her and moving out even though he still has no job and is now LIVING at her house with her family. They even have gone to look at places to have the wedding, but he hasn't got her a ring. a few months ago I walked in on them having sex. they were dating about 4 months at the time. it would not have been surprising except for the fact that she was a virgin before this. the guy is alright looking and puts on a polite front but when we go out places together he makes very sexual jokes (sometimes even towards me like about my boobs or me and my boyfriend having sex) that make me uncomfortable. when I tell her she just says that's his sense of humor. I just get weird feelings about how fast he is taking things. I really feel like he is using her and making all of these empty promises. she truly believes they are getting married even though he has not even bought a ring. I don't think its normal for someone to move so fast knowing they don't have the means to make all of these things happen, at least not for a few years. that with all of the other little things make me not like the guy all that much. I try to be friendly to him for her. I don't know how to handle telling her I think he is taking advantage of her and her family because everyone seems to think he walks on water.
Most Helpful Girl
Well I don't know about the guy but all I can suggest is what I would do if I was in your position. As a close friend I'm assuming that you have a relatively close relationship meaning there's some pretty open communication about everything. The only thing that I could think to do is honestly express how you feel about the things that he does and stress that you have her best interest at heart. Try your best to make it sound supportive so she doesn't take it as like an attack you know.
Sadly, some people need to learn things the hard way. The only thing you can do as her friend is express how you feel, make suggestions or give advice if she's willing to listen and be there for her so if and when this all blows up in her face because she didn't listen, she still has someone and maybe she'll listen to you next time.
I've had bad experiences and seen too many times the drama in trying to make someone choose and its not worth the stress. If she's set on being with this man, she's going to be with him, you know...0