Should I keep trying?

Whatsup guys, thanks for taking the time to read/answer my question.

Anyways, I went out with a girl for around 3 months. Things were great at first (aren't they usually?) but things went downhill fast. The thing is I was in between jobs and was stuck doing tons of random odd part time jobs, meaning I was always tired, stressed, didn't have much free time, and barely had any money to spend. She on the other hand ran into pretty bad family/friend drama as well as health issues, to summarize we both found the WORST time to be going out.

Due to this I was never really able to get closer to her emotionally, my situation meant I had no time/money and I was stressed and tired all the time. Her situation meant she was constantly stressed/emotional and had a boyfriend that couldn't be there for her.

Anyways, we end it. It stung because I know that if things had been different we could've had a really great run with our relationship, but our lives just wouldn't permit it.

We went no contact, and in an odd almost morbid twist of life I land a solid job about 5 days after our break up. Great pay, no stress, and PLENTY OF TIME.

I wanted to contact her again right then and there, but the whole stigma of "just get over it" kept me from doing it.

I did a lot of thinking about us after that, and after a month of no contact and dating other girls I realized that I still had deep feelings for her. We had a great time together, now that I got my life back in order I figured why not give it another shot? What's the worst that could happen? No? Leave me alone? Cold shoulder? I felt that if I did truly care for her I'm not going to just let her fade away without at least trying.

So here I am, calling her up after not seeing/talking to her for a while. With every ring I told myself this is such a dumb idea, ex's are ex's for a reason! But I really had no reason for her to be my ex.

So we get to talking and I end up breaking it to her how it is. She was obviously curious, and called me out on not staying in contact with her if I "still cared" and why I didn't tell her this sooner. I did my best to explain as calm as possible, without being overly pushy so when all was said and done and it pretty much boiled down to "I want you back" she told me that she doesn't know about that right now.

Dammit, I hate answers that aren't answers!

So anyways I told her that I respect that she still has sh*t going on and needs time to think about this and the conversation ended. That was about 3 days ago.

Obviously my #1 plan of route is just going back to no contact, afterall I told her how it is if she wanted me she'd let me know.

Problem with this girl is she's a bit passive, and I also know that she had wanted me to still contact her etc and all that sh*t.

So what should I do? Go against my code and try contacting her more? Try and talk in a week?

I hate being pushy and no contact is usually my answer for everything so I'll let you guys decide!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you care about her. We break our rules for the people we care about. If she tells you to step off after this call then don't try again. But I'm betting your going to have to prove you care and be persistent with overall communication even if your still not her boyfriend. you stopped talking to her for a straight month and although your used to that, she didn't like it. Especially since you knew she was going through stuff and you werent there even as a friend. It shows your a little unpredictable too (I'm exactly the same). U'll have to work at it, but she's special right?

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    • True, but the thing is I have no idea how to go about this. I've never been the one to break the no contact rule so I'm completely lost as what to do. I know that if I'm too pushy that she's gonna back off, and I realize if I don't do anything she'll think I'm just trying to hook up and that I'm bullsh*tting her. Then of course there's always the friend zone...

      Ouuugghhhh! :(

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    • i understand your scared you might be too pushy, but if she is going through serious sh*t she needs you to be her friend, someone to talk to. you need to make yourself emotionally available for her. ull have to reach out to her and then hopefully she'll come to you when she's ready. I think the worst idea is to stop talking again because she was pissed the first time you did that.

    • Uh oh... She kinda mentioned she had wished I could've been there for her like a friend. And I said I can't be friends because that would be me lying to the both of us because I want to be with her. However, you gotta understand when I hear or read "friend" I think friendzone, doesn't matter if it's an ex or not.

      I take it in girls terms I just told her I only want her for sex...?

What Girls Said 3

  • The ball is in her court. If she doesn't contact you, there is your answer!

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  • Don't be stupid. Life is never easy and when it's hard you should both understand and be PATIENCE.

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  • o, and the no contact rule? grow up she has more sh*t on her mind than to think about that.

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What Guys Said 0

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