Is he a loser or no????

He's 25 years old with no car, license and cell phone. He is a basketball coach and wants to be a personal trainer. He wants to spend the rest of his life with me after just knowing me for one day. He's sweet, charming, he listens, funny and we have a deep connection I feel. He wants to go all out with a relationship with me and he wants to talk all day. Am I dating a loser it sounds like? I don't want to go down that road again


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think having no car/license/phone makes you a loser. I would consider someone a loser if they had no ambition, was lazy or an a**hole etc. This guy seems to have goals and is on his way to accomplishing them. He might not be there yet, hence why he doesn't have those materinal things, but he's trying to make it happen. I'd be pretty worried about the "wanting to spend the rest of his life with you after one day" thing.. You can't truly know someone after that long.. hopefully he doesn't get clingy. Just set him straight that you don't want to move to fast, and you'd like to get to know him more before you commit. That way you can figure out if he really is committed to achieving his goals, and just get to know him better in general.

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    • Thank you so much ! Your answer was the most helpful ! He is very clingy but then he will say let me stop. I'm probably scaring you off or something like that. I guess over time I will see if he is really trying to achieve his goals...thank you !

    • Thank you for BA! Giving it some time will let you see where he's at with his goals, and will also let you see how clingy he really is!

    • Your right :-)

What Guys Said 5

  • he's a "nice guy." I'm surprised you haven't friend zoned him already. There are jerks out there you aren't letting screw you over. Stop wasting your time with him!

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    • so your sayyyinnnggg he is a loser or not?

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    • because I dated losers. my last burned me really bad and had nothing to give in a relationship. I understand what your saying but the whole world can't be losers. Are you saying go far a guy that has a car, license and his sh*t together?

    • i'm saying you are not going to date someone who isn't a loser. It isn't possible. Guys who aren't losers don't date - they take what they want and move on. It is that very ambition that keeps them from being a loser.

  • Your question says that he has no cell phone, but your response says he does and wants to text const. Which is it?

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    • He said he is using his cousins cell phone...

    • At first he said he broke his phone, then he switched up his story and said he lost it, so he is using his cousins phone...hhmmmm

  • Like the other guy said, he is a "nice guy", and you want a real gentleman. So yes he is a loser.

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    • You guys aren't making sense. lol...your saying he is a nice guy but a loser at the same time...more help please...

    • Being a nice guy is a bad thing. I could go into all of the differences between a nice guy and a real man but it would take too long.

    • So I should stop talking to this guy since he is a loser right?

  • He sounds lazy and needy.

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    • Thank you ! That's the idea that was put inside my head, so I know I am gonna run on this one. He doesn't understand I have things to do and he wants to text and talk on the phone 24/7. he's 25 and should be more worried about getting his license, car etc instead of making me his number one priority when we just met yesterday...red flag right?

  • If he has ambition then he's not a loser but he doesn't sound too driven

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    • Then he says he has everything. It's like um hello, no you don't and I told him it doesn't sound like he has any ambition. He didn't mention that he was gonna work on getting it or anything like that...

What Girls Said 3

  • he seems like a dud to me.

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    • because of his situation right?

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    • he clearly has issues and you are obviously not prepared to deal with them. do what you gotta do. tell him that if he doesn't back off, then you won't allow him to see you anymore. he needs to understand that his behavior is making you UNHAPPY. tell him that.

    • I haven't spoken to him in about 2 hours but when he calls I'm going to tell him nicely that we can't date each other right now...thank you for your advice girl :-)

  • after one day? WTFFF he is not normal sorry.

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    • Well it wasn't even one day. But he just tried to call and I ignored him. Looks like I have to change my number. Never met a guy this clingy and he's kind o f controlling tell me I better text him and call him right back and that I better be the only one. I don't like being talked to like that, so he's a done deal

  • I say be aware and don't jump into a relationship with him until you get to know him. At least he has a job where he can get those things if he wanted them. Try to focus on what he has and what type of person he is, not what he doesn't. One other thing, please don't go overboard with doing things for him if he asks. I was in a relationship like that and he eventually just depended on me for everything and I resented him for that. I eventually got tired of it and I left. Just be careful. Good luck and I'm here if you have more questions

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    • Omgggg I wish I could give you best answer as well as the other lady but that's why I am asking this question because my last two relationships, I took care of them and paid for them when we went out. I still have yet to be treated like a lady and I don't want to go dow that path again. it gets old. he said he doesn't get paid for coaching in the summer, so that means jobless for the summer...hmmmm, I like him but iffy on him and I'm the type of person, if I see any bad, I would rather run

    • Yea its a sticky situation, just take it slow and let things happen from there

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