Does my boyfriend have low self esteem, or does it seem like he is looking for a way out?

Here are some texts exchanged back and forth. I payed him back a $1 bill he lent me early in our relationship and tracked it on so he could see the message I wrote about how wonderful I think he is:

Me: Thanks : ) And if you did not register that $1 you will be cursed forever : (. Just warning u...

Him: The thing is... I'm already cursed..,

Me: : (... No you're not. I hope your not watching something depressing by yourself : (

Him: I am cursed baby... And I think it'd be best if you stayed away from me... I just don't want you to get hurt :(

Me: are you serious? You're making me worried...r you ok? If there's something you want to tell me...we can talk later...I just hope you are alright...I'm just picking up on some energy from u...

Him: Yea ill be alright... I just don't think a guy like me deserves a great girl like you

Me:..if its something else...let me know...if you don't want to be in a relationship w/'s OK. Just tell me. otherwise...I care about you a lot...and I'm really happy whenever I'm with u...and I wouldn't even think about wanting to be with anyone else...unless its not what you want. I just want you to be happy.

Him: You're the sweetest, cutest, intelligentest, most awesome and wonderful person ever! And I love spending time with you! I just don't know how I got so lucky...

Me: What?!? Are you serious? I'm the lucky one...That's why I wanted you to track that $1...There was message on there...I was trying to be creative...but it didn't have the biggest purest heart of anyone I know...and that is the top reason I like you so much...along with your many other attributes that I don't have space to list here...

Him: I know... And I feel like a jerk Because I just described the dollar bill's texture instead of how amazing you are...Well good night baby. Hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow! Sleep well and sweet dreams xoxox

From reading these txts, what do you make of it? Cause I'm really confused. He's a great guy and treats me with a lot of respect...He is my first bf...and he's in a really good program at school and super I don't get why he'd feel this way...which makes me think he's just looking for a way out.
Well... I know he does have self esteem issues... But I'm not sure if it applies to this situation?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Could be self esteem issues. Self-depricating is pretty common I've found with men with these issues.. you know that expression "fishing for compliments". I've also had guys say things like that to me when they didn't want to commit though. I'd say just tell him that it worries you when he says things like this and that you won't validate it anymore. Then the next time he puts himself down just don't respond or say "True" or "You know how I feel about self-deprication" If you keep responding to him he'll only keep doing it. Hash it out with him, let him know you won't respond to it.. and then stick to your guns.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Low self esteem.

    • It applies here because he is putting you on a pedestal by saying that he doesn't deserve you. Real men don't do that.

  • Defiantly low self esteem


What Girls Said 4

  • I think he's almost afraid of losing you to someone better and might be trying to cut his loses but getting out, so it could be combination of both. you need to convince him that you want to be with him and no one will take you away from him.

  • I'm not really sure what he was trying to do here. I think he's got some self-esteem issues for sure.

  • I think it is either that he has extreme low self esteem, or he is trying to find his way out. I would follow your gut/feelings on this one.

    • Some people just get really depressed at the random-est of times, for no reason at all.

    • Yeah... I agree...He is off school this month and has way too much free time and doesn't know what to do with himself...I was away at camp volunteering this weekend when the texts were sent...and just a week and a half ago...he bought me these random objects that he thinks symbolizes our relationship...and he baked for me too...

    • lol okay yeah! I have so much free time as well and I know that when I am bored and don't know what to do with myself, I will get that way too! Bored= depression sometimes, lol.

  • Reading your posts, it sounds exactly like me and my boyfriend. My boyfriend has low self esteem, insecurity issues and bouts of depression. I know he's a great guy, but those characteristics are part of who he is. I can't stand that he is that way, but that's the way he is. I know when my guy is going through stuff, he acts distant and weird, so you're guy may be doing some of the same things.