Girls, why do you always tell us how great we are while you are breaking up with us?

If you are breaking up with me I don't really want to here "oh, well you are a really nice guy, you look good, you are smart, you are so funny, so make me feel safe, you do things for me that no one else ever has, etc." Do you think it makes us feel better about ourselves that we are losing you, the person we are obviously in love with, to know that we are so amazing and great and will find someone that makes us happy? If we are so damned perfect, why are you breaking up with us?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've never actually broke up with a guy using that line... but if there were any chances that this may happen, I would only say this because he has all the right qualities but not "the one." At this point, I would have tried my best to give my whole heart to him but can't. What's important to me is I would want him to know that he is a catch and an AMAZING guy, but somehow the relationship lacks the chemistry...

    -Spoken by a girl who was dumped this way

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    • wow lol, thanks for BA!

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    • Yup. ended two nights ago. Luckily she was willing to talk to me about everything and I am already at the acceptance and moving on happily stage with no regrets besides it didn't work of course. Last night she pretty much said what you did. I'm great, she just doesn't have those feelings for me anymore.

    • :) you definitely took the break up a lot better than I ever did lol

What Girls Said 34

  • Well would you rather us say "hey, see ya"?

    I get what you mean, you don't want the person breaking your heart to also comfort you. I've been in the situation where the person breaking up with me wanted to give me a hug at the end of it.

    This is different though. I generally try not to patronize the person by telling them that "someday you'll find someone" because I think that is going too far. But if I want to make sure that the other person knows that the reason for the breakup has nothing to do with them, I will tell them all their great qualities and reinforce that it isn't them personally.

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  • That is exactly what I did in my first break up. That's really suprising because I never knew other girls do the same thing as me. I do that because I feel bad for breaking up with him. I try to let him down gently as possible. But I say what I truly think. These compliments aren't sugarcoated or anything, it's everything that I truly think is great about him.

    I don't break up with a guy for no reason. Usually it's because I don't feel the chemistry he feels. I don't know. Some girls aren't just attracted to a guy because of his perfect attributes. Even if he is the handsomest guy with the greatest personality, their chemicals also have to mesh well together with theirs in order for them to fall in love.

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  • To be completely honest I have never complimented a guy when we were breaking up. It was alwasy the opposite. I guess they are just trying to be nice and "let you down gently." Or maybe they are just sluts and you really are too good for them. I would go with that one that is a more appealing answer. Its a cop out answer to a break up I would just say it is their loss if they are stupid enough to let something go that they thought was so great!

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  • Girls are crazy :) psychos, neurotic and spaztic! hahaha, coming from a girl who considers herself to be an outcast to the rest of girl world. That is so dumb. The only time I would say any of that was if they were breaking up with me and I was trying to convince them to stay.

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  • Basically just so we can give you one last ego boost and so you'd regret losing us :P ...that prettyy much sums it up if you ask me but I say that's a deep cut right there.

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  • I do that because I don't want him to think that he is bad or that he did something wrong necessarily but just that we aren't right together. I don't want him to get the wrong idea that there is anything wrong with him.

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  • It's one of two things.

    1. She is passive aggressive. She has no backbone and doesn't have the courage to be honest. It can be hard for people to tell a person what's REALLY going through their mind. Especially if the truth hurts. Most people are pretty passive agressive.

    2. She really believes that you are a great guy. She just doesn't feel that you're right for her.

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  • We try to sugar coat anything

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  • haha I did that once... trying to compliment the kid before I break up with him but honestly it made me think why I was gonna let go of such a great guy... I guess I thought it would be easier to let him go. But it wasn't. Any who, yeah to let them down easier.

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  • Girls say that because they think that guys would think something was REALLY wrong with themselves. Yeah, I don't understand girls...

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  • Don't say all girls say it... because I've never once said "you are great" when breaking up with a guy.

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  • A lot of times girls want to make you feel better. Chances are you were a great guy, you just weren't the right guy for her and she didn't want to have to hurt you

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  • We don't want you to feel insecure after.

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  • I don't say that at all.

    I talk to him about why I'm leaving and if there is anything we can do, apologize for anything I've done, etc.

    But, as for compliments and stuff.

    I don't, because that's not the time and place.

    It's too confusing.

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    • I will agree with the confusing bit, it just happened to me last night on the phone. I got a few real reasons, and then a lot of conflicting messages from her.

  • This is really deep and I'm guilty of saying that but basically I think it makes them "feel better". Or sometimes it's just a lie saying that they've moved on

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  • Well I do that so they won't feel bad about them selves and so they will have enough courage to ask some else out, hope I helped

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  • It means you've been the perfect boyfriend but both of you don't match together anymore..

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  • Amen.??

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  • It's our way of saying we're sorry for breaking up for you, and telling you what you DIDNT do wrong.

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  • It's just to soften the blow and were generally trying to not feel bD

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  • To let you down easier.

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  • People can think you're an amazing person, but just think you're wrong for each other I guess .. I hate that tho. Personally when I'm in something I won't leave the guy no matter what. I'm as serious about a relationship as I am about marriage.. I've had my heart broken and I never wanna do that to anybody

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  • Because people sugar coat.

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  • To soften the blow usually and because even though we are breaking up with you, we still want you to know that you're a great person you are and always will be even without us there

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  • Girls who say this before breaking up leave out that one detail that they don't like about the boy they are breaking up with, maybe he's too annoying or to ignorant or he is too nice (too many compliments) the girls who compliment before breaking up don't want u to feel like shit because u obviously will feel like it when they break up so they let u know that ur a nice guy and she wasn't the only one! Just get over it, you'll find the girl that loves everything that the ex didn't :)

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  • Well... Its just like you guys who have all these girlfriends at the same time and still choose to get rid of those who do most for you. So its pretty much the same thing on how you guys get bored with us girls and don't care on how much it hurts, but when a girl does it to you... Its a problem.

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  • Because we want u to no that u are still a Great person you're just not the one

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  • Would u rather us tell u "ur a piece shit u piece of faggot" and then leave? Its kinda like courtesey on our part

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  • To lessen the pain of the breakup

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  • One thing guys don't get is that when one women is going to say something bad to another women, we normally star with a string of compliments to make the bad thing seem less harsh. So that's why we string up a bunch of compliments before we break up with a guy.

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What Guys Said 5

  • There are many reasons to why girls do this kind of thing, but it is NEVER because they care about you or your feelings. They say they do, but they do not. Girls want to boost their egos and get put on pedestals somehow. Girls will say they do care just to save face. Girls leave guys they "ask for" all the time, and they get with the guys that are "wrong" for them then complain about all guys when things don't work out. Reasons are as follows...

    1: She sees you as one of her girlfriends. In other words, just a "friend" and someone that she sees herself NEVER having sex with or never doing it again with you. When this happens it's just best to never talk to her again.

    2: SHE WANTS OR ALREADY HAS SOMEONE ELSE. This is the most likely of anything. It's not that she doesn't want a relationship, it's that she doesn't want one with YOU and doesn't have the guts to tell you. It's what they do.

    3: She wants to be in total control of your feelings. She wants to hurt you, see you disapponted, confuse you and maybe even try to make you cry. This is the type of thing that gets some girls off. Many girls are selfish and vicious.

    Girls do this KNOWING how you feel and KNOWING that you are the guy that girls SAY they want, but girls don't want until they are done playing their games or being played with other guys out there. If you were REALLY such a good guy, she would help you with meeting and being with girls wouldn't she? When girls are giving you excuses, they are laughing their butts off and losing respect for you at the same time.

    The stupidest thing about all of this is that when girls do this they end up being with another guy(s) within days or weeks, sometimes hours after they do this to you. Then if (when) you see them with another guy instantly think that everything is supposed to be "OK". The solution, don't give girls enough time to do this. Have other girls on stand-by. Don't be clingy. Don't be the "good guy" or the "nice guy". Most of all, move on when a girl tells you that BS.

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  • lol good question, though not all girls are like that. with my ex she's like," I need a break,...from everything". iam like "ok, well ill start packing your things, oh yeah don't let the door hit your ass on the way out". lol she left with the some douche bag. they ended up breaking up, because apparently she couldn't stop thinking about me, and was worried about me and still loves me bla bla bla. but yeah we were together for a year, were still friends, that's it. never be anything other than that.

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  • "It's not you it's me" I got the whole charade. I would have just appreciated some honesty and true concern.

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  • Dude, it's so you don't walk away without an ego... I've got that line once but I f'n deserved it! lol

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  • Because it is a cop put coward excuse to say "i am not interested in you anymore"

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