So, I met someone online who I got along with pretty good. Lots of stuff in common, but as most people do we both have baggage & are somewhat set in our ways after divorce. We had some disagreements & squabbles along the way. After 8 months we decided to try living together before attempting marriage. Within 2 weeks I was already wondering if it was going to work. We were having arguments regularly, like every other day. He has OCD, is extremely abrasive & has a very sharp tongue & doesn't care who gets hurt by it. He will only give if I am giving the same amount & quality. He figures he's going to hurt others before they can hurt him.
This is a recent example which caused the fight & forced me to move back home.
He had to work a midnight to 6 am shift so was sleeping during the afternoon/evening before work. I was planning on making fajitas for dinner, but nothing was said as to what time he wanted to eat. He woke up & was pissed cause dinner wasn't ready. Since I was busy doing some school work & he went back to bed, I waited to fix it until a bit later. He was pissed that I only made the fajitas & didn't make beans & rice with it. So, stupid me...I don't tell him to stuff it & be grateful for what I did make. (I've never made side dishes with fajitas before) I made regular brown rice which he eats with practically everything & beans. Guess who was pissed that it wasn't Mexican rice?
So,(according to him) it was my fault for not taking the initiative to scour the cupboards to WOW him with dinner. I should have made a complete meal. I'm old enough to know you should do that. I've been to a Mexican restaurant, so I should know it should be served that way. I've been in a relationship before, so should know better. He always makes a complete meal & therefore if I love him, I should notice that, be grateful for it & do the same for him. & therefore cause I didn't I don't love or care about him.
Long story short, this started an argument, cause I just wasn't going to take his crap. It was completely ridiculous that I was supposed to know when he was going to get up (cause I'd been there a month & should know his schedule by then). Ridiculous that I should know what should be fixed w fajitas & he just won't listen to my explanation. He thinks it's ridiculous I don't know these things. Apparently he didn't get the memo about me not having ESP. I threw his keys at his leg & he picked up a butcher knife off the counter & acted like he was going to throw it at me, but then put it in the sink. He left for work, I packed up my stuff & left. I realize I egged him on instead of leaving him alone when he was already mad, but he feels throwing keys is the same as threatening w a knife.
So the question is, is there a possibility to repair a relationship after it has gotten to this point? We have spoken some & I feel have worked out compromises, but I worry this behavior will continue. Loving each other does not guarantee a relationship will work.
Most Helpful Guy
You know it's not going to work when you're miserable all the time.0