Do I have a right to freak out or should I just relax. Help.

Okay, so my girlfriend pressured me into allowing her to socially drink. Which is something I usually don't like.. She used to be a very bad drinker/partyer. Which adds to why I wouldn't allow her. I did cave in though because she said I was being controlling. Ever since then though, her attitude has started to decline. She started to get a little meaner, took longer to reply to texts, sent less smilies, etc. Well, today she took at least an hour to reply to every text I sent and I usually got a one word reply. I was cool with it whenever she gave me a reason; job hunting, Only later did I find out that she did more than job hunting.. Went car hunting with her friend, met some of her old guy friends at a restaurant and stuff. That only bothered me because she didn't tell me.. Then she called me creepy and obsessive.. Which isn't normal for her to be that harsh. I then called her later at night to tell her goodnight and stuff. I eventually got around to asking her if we were still down with hanging out; she had to cancel these plans as well because she was going to get her hair done and stay the night with her alcoholic of a friend.. Which made me nervous.. I then asked about Thursday and she told me it would have to be in the evening because she was going to sleep in till 3.. Which further alarmed me.. Especially when she said all they were doing at her friends was sleep.. Can someone please tell me I need to relax? Or do I legitly have a reason to freak out and get a little paranoid..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are freaking out, but you have good intentions. You just don't want your girlfriend to fall back into being the hard partier/drinker as it scares you which is reasonable - you're only looking out for her. Another thing is that her attitude has changed, she is not doing what you're used to when she's with you she's almost falling back into who she used to be or so it seems.

    So I think it is fine to worry or be a little paranoid I know I would if my boyfriend started to change his tune and have a completely different attitude towards me. You only care about her and are trying to figure out why there is a sudden change.

    What I think you need to do is have a talk with her, ask her what's up. You need to be calm when discussing with her, not angry as really that doesn't solve anything.

    Maybe she thinks you see too much of her and just wants space/Maybe there is some underlying serious problem she hasn't told you about. You know it could be anything, you won't know until you talk to her. But seeing as you can't really talk to her right now, she keeps pushing you away, I think to just give her space and either come back to her in a few days or wait until she comes back to you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You have a reason to freak out, but the best way to handle this is to relax. Dude, from my point of view, she's manipulating you into letting her do what she wants. I know you mean well but you shouldn't get at her for noticing these little things like the texts. Her not making time for you and allowing herself to be badly influenced IS horrible. Talk to her about it. If she won't listen, talk to her friends and tell them you won't stop them from hanging out with her, but it seems as though they are being a bad influence on her and you want to have some time her. Be patient. Things will look out.

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    • I've never stopped her from hanging out with her friends. As I'm trying to say I'm not controlling at all, hence why I caved into letting her socially drink.. They all agreed to not pressure here, but I don't know.

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    • You're good, lol. It just bothers me that everyone assumes I'm controlling.. D:

    • Good as in? well thanks. I think they're taking it too much on the girl's perspective if you ask me lol. and maybe a bit on how you expressed your problem (sounded panicky, no offense)

  • uhhhm well you seem like a control freak tbh, like when she's with you, she isn't truly herself. I think you have kept her in a cage and now she finally feels like she can break loose. I and all understand that you guys are 17 and all that, but sometimes people go down the wrong paths and until she figures it out, it won't change. show her you care and all that, but this whole thing about her nnot wanting to even talk to her boyfriend is a sign, your supposed to always wanna be with him, and you shouldn't feel the need to hide things from him either. I think you should try a little more and talk it out, but my bet is that she was use to always getting her way and now it seems like someone is putting their foot down and telling her its not okay, and she's not use to it, so she thinks she can do it now cause you allowed it. But if she can't drink one or 2 drinks without wanting to get wasted the next night, I think she should look into alchol programs. sorry for being blunt but you wanted peoples opinions. I hope it all works out for you guys :)

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    • I've known her for two years. I'm in college. This isn't a maturity thing at all. I'm actually not that big of a control freak, I just don't want her to get back into drinking and doing drugs. She was a different person when she did all that, and when she put it aside due to me coming back into her life and her family getting involved too she changed back into the girl we all knew. Now, she is starting to act like the part girl. That is what I'm trying to relay.

  • You sound obsessive, controlling and clingy. If she wants to go out she has a right to, you aren't her god. I'm honestly a bit shocked I've never seen so many red flags in one post...

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    • And that makes anything I said not legit how? And you seem a little hostile, mad because your girlfriend isn't the only one who thinks you're a creep lol?

    • 17? that settles it, you aren't mature enough yet for any relationship.

    • I've known her for two years. I'm in college. This isn't a maturity thing at all. I'm actually not that big of a control freak, I just don't want her to get back into drinking and doing drugs. She was a different person when she did all that, and when she put it aside due to me coming back into her life and her family getting involved too she changed back into the girl we all knew. Now, she is starting to act like the part girl. That is what I'm trying to relay.

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't freak out but have a serious discussion with her,

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    • Thank you, I will. It wouldn't be so bad if we were 21.

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