I can't get over my boyfriend's past... Advice please!

My boyfriend has a pretty "experienced" sex-past and it's been really bothering me. I love him and I don't want to break up with him. But he's practically my first in most intimate things and I'm not nearly his first in anything. I know it doesn't matter, but I can't stop thinking about all the girls he's cheated on and hooked up with...etc.

What do I do? How can I make it stop bothering me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey I can completely relate to this although I don't remember if it bothered me as bad as you. My boyfriend now of nine years and father of two daughters had a very expierenced young pass life. When we first met he had already been with 11 girls me I was with one guy 2 years and he was my first that's it. So he was my first to with mostly everything- but the trick was it was totally different. you have to remember guys can have sex just to have sex and be done, girls were more emotional creatures but what a lot of people don't realize is for a guy to have a good sex life or love making he has to reach an emotional level as well. (not saying yes he may have had orgasms with these girls but nothing he may expierence with you)So more likely these other girls it was more for fun. You are the more serious one and I doubt if you guys really love each other he will do those things. How long have you been dating? Will make a little difference but not really. I know it made my man very happy to know that I didn't sleep all over with tons of guys and to this day loves the fact that he doesn't have to think of all the men. But we do right doesn't seem fair. Well like I said above you really just can't let it bother you exspecially if you have been together for a little while than you should deffinatly know that he enjoys you, you make him feel more special in many ways that he hasnever felt before and befits you with him feeling this feeling.What I mean when I say that is no matter how many girls he was with YOU made him feel somthing different physically and emotionally! Even though he may have expierenced more its a guy thing they feel like they have too and will only make them happier to know that have the expierence to show the RIGHT girl- they have to feel like winners and well you may have been his winner. The longer your together that feeling will fade, but as for now just know your his winner, enjoy the expierence don't worry about past or future enjoy what you have now! Hope that helped take care!

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    • I'm glad someone understands. this made me feel better, thanks!

      Yea, that's what he says. How I'm different, I'm nothing like the other girls. It's different physically, emotionally, sexually. It's just a completely different experience. With the other girls is was just sex or just a hook-up. With me it's passion, love, lust, etc... It helps when he reminds me of those things but still, sometimes I just can't get these thoughts out of my mind.

      (cont.)

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    • they will I promise- they will stop bothering you but they woill never go away I still tease him to this day about it but we just have a fun laughter best friend soul mate kinda relationship- for you reading the above and you guys were off and on and now this is it it will take some time beause you know everything but it seems like the puzzle pieces fit this time and over the next few months just keep telling yourself he's mine hess with me- its easier said than done joking about it helps

    • thanks a lot. the thought that it'll eventually go away completely really helps. thanks :)

What Guys Said 3

  • You just need to realize that everyone has their past, and enjoy the time that YOU have with him NOW.

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  • And that's exactly why I never answer girls asking me about past gfs, it doesn't help anything but sure starts many problems!

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    • no it's not about what he's told me, well it is, but mostly it's that we've been close for a long time so I've been through all of these girls and heard all the stories as they were happening.

  • Past partners doesn't bother me. Several instances of cheating, however... that's a HUGE red flag.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Once a cheater, always a cheater. If he's cheated on other girls, he'll most likely cheat on you, or do something similar or even worse. My advice: be careful if you really want to give him a chance, but I wouldn't stay with him if he's got a record like that. For all you know, he has another girl on the side, or you could be "the other woman."

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    • no it's not like that,

      for one, I don't believe in "once a cheater always a cheater", people change.

      He's been in love with me and fighting for me for the past 3 years, I finally gave him the chance a few months ago. He's doing everything he can not to screw things up. It's really crazy!

      I'm not "the other woman".. I'm THE woman.

      so that's the least of my worries. The chances of me cheating are way higher than him cheating on me, and I would never cheat to begin with! so you can imagine!

  • Yea I'd be a bit weary too if I knew he cheated on past gfs. But give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's changed, but keep your eye on him.

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