I feel like the man of the relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months. My boyfriend used to have a job but then he let it go so now he is unemployed. He has some hopes that one of his buddies is attempting to get him a job but has yet to make any actions elsewhere. I'm kind of upset because we never go out. I always drive to his house and see him, where usually we watch television on Friday nights. He has never bought me flowers and we never go on dates. I'm usually the one picking up the tab and I drive him around when we do go out because he never has gas. It makes me upset. I mean I know it's hard because he doesn't have money, but I find out the other day he went and picked up an old girl friend he used to know. I mean I don't know what to do, I just want some flowers!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sadly he is using you whether it says it or not. He has grown comfortable with you doing everything for him. If he was a real man he wouldn't PIN his hopes on one of his friends. He'd be looking elsewhere. You deserve better than a free loader and someone who is picking up older GF's sounds very fishy like he is just using you to get food and then on the side seeing who he wants.

    Don't do that to yourself. You have to be honest with him and see if he is ready to find a job and be a man. But more so be honest with yourself. In 4 months when you celebrate a year of going out do you still want to be driving him around and hearing him talking about that same friend maybe having another opportunity? You are like his Mother and he is your son. He needs to be a man not a little boy

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What Guys Said 6



  • Normally I'd say rough job market and all and that the 1950's ended a long time ago, but troubling himself for the resources to pickup an old girlfriend and not contribute it trying to meet with you more halfway, especially without telling you first is kind of shady...

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  • He has all day to go pick wild flowers.

    He sounds useless.

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  • He's useless.

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  • He knows he has someone to rely on and finding a job could wait. He is growning lazier by each day. You need to talk to him and if he doesn't listen, stop seeing him for sometime. He needs to know how much he relys on you.

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  • Honestly he sounds like a bit of a loser, should sit down with him and start showing him jobs before he becomes fused with his couch..

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  • maybe you will feel better if we point at you and say "you da man!"

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What Girls Said 5

  • He kind of sounds like a scrub. Not to be harsh, but it seems like he could be doing more to take responsibility. If I were in your situation, I would feel a bit used.

    Honestly, there are SO many guys out there with good jobs who are looking for a girlfriend. I mean he doesn't have to be rich or anything. Even if he's just holding down a steady job at walmart or something, at least that's something. It's not a lot to ask in my opinion.

    You deserve better and you really don't have to waste your time with a guy who doesn't treat you well.

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  • If he was really serious about finding a job and being a good, dependable man, he would. He would freaking pick you some flowers or something. When a guy is being lazy you just know.

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  • youre not man, unless uve gone through some physiological changes.

    you don't like how he's acting. OK deal with that. why call it something else.

    just discuss how you feel about how things are in the relationship. leave out the analogy. its useless, because women work & support people.

    you feel he doesn't care. & might be cheating. that doesn't make him a woman. just makes him lazy& maybe cheating.

    have you ever discussed ANY of this with him. if not, go do so.

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  • You really need to tell him how you feel, guys are not good at understanding women, they don't get subtle hints, they don't really get body language well, you have to talk to him and tell him how you feel.

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  • run and run fast never go back to that man ever! he guy is a loser

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