He said he doesn't love me anymore please help??

Rite, I've been with my boyfriend for 6years, we get on pretty great we get each other and are each others first lovers, we did briefly split for a while and experienced life without one another but that was 3 years ago and we got back together after 5months.. things have been OK lately, yes we fight who doesn't, I do tend to nag a bit tho and it makes him really angry.. recently he's started hanging with his mates more because they are all back around again, and the other night he was texting me and we were getting on great, he was been so so nice saying he was all mine for the weekend and stuff.. late that night tho we had a bit of an argument and I kept nagging wrecking his head, but I was just angry.. next day my world fell apart.. he broke up with me telling me he don't think he loves me anymore that its too stressful for him and that he wants to be on his own.. I begged him not t leave but he made it clear its what e wanted.. we said or goodbyes it was very hard but we did.. I'm completely devastated :( I don't understand how things can just change just like that with no going back and his mind completely made up.. I know I have t move on.. he's quiet strong minded so prob won't text if missed me... is there anything I can do t change this.. don't say move on bla bla.. I just want opinions on how it could be changed I just can't help feeling its a mistake.. he's so stubborn I can't change his mind.. please help ?

Updates:
hahah.. err.. that was funny to read lads.. I don't have aggression probs and I ain't that bad bad at the nagging.. its not even nagging it was just wondering things.. he certainly don't think bad of me he said I was an amazing person.. jeez lads calm de heads haha.. I'm actually fairly sound and all his friends used get on with me I don't stop him from doing anything ever.. we just had a stupid fight not my fault and den its over.. don't judge me so bad wen I aint!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • he's seeing someone else, and is peer oriented, I'm assuming by the way youa re typing you are in the UK, but I don't know... there its very common, esp middle calss guys to be very peer oriented. basically you have to compete for attachment with his peers- and believe it or not they DO influence men (indirectly) to cheat.

    you can turn this around... but this is what you have to do. playing it cool won't WORK, (despite having angered feelings (let those show through!), don't let the weaker ones take over you now... being vulnerable is something you want when a man is comign towards you, but not at this stage! ) no blaming yourself or beating yourself up for nagging him, there is a reason why it happened!, or anything like that. Call him out on the cheating or eyeballing other women and outside factors creating a distance. this happened with me and my boyfriend of 8 years at teht ime. said he dindt wantt o be with me anymore, but was hiding the fact some girl was pursuing him. (and she knew about me too)

    use authority figures or others he respects to reel him in too since right now, he has none for you. wheen he gets caught, comes to his senses, adn starts losing ground with this "roots" who is raising him up to feel cocky enough to leave you... he will regret it.

    in the mean time...keep dating men until you have a real deal commitment like marriage or engagement.

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    • numbner one thing, do NOT fear pushinh him away ---- he's in a narcissitic regression right now ( basically like being a little spoiled boy again) when guys get into this mode they are more "predatory" and will take advantage of your fears to excuse leaving you. you'll have to snap him out of it . when and if you guys go back together officially.. you made discover down the line that you don't want him anymore.

    • He hasn't cheated I know that much and he not pusuing anyone.. he swore on his dads grave which he never does unless he means something, he's not that kinda guy I know this from experience.. he seems really angry since we finished and I don't know what's happened him.. he won't talk to me and I tried narrowing things down telling him I would change make more of an effort and he just telling me no, he don't want to be tide down, but yet its just strange how the night before this he wa telling me how

What Guys Said 6

  • Hey ask yourself what does he WANT and NEEDS a spoilled girl who spend her time nagging, being stressed all the time ? (you are killing your environment) why not be the type of girl who can be there for your boyfriend and WOMAN keep your self under control I think you are as stubborn as him. if you cannot handle your emotions then... you need an a**hole as boyfriend . I was this close to rip off my frist girlfriend neck. oohh man she was self centered... anyway guys don't like self centered girls ( I can withstand nagging I even find it cute to some extent well that's me) but most don't they hate it :-) so now the MAIN POINT if you want to get him back you have to be patient because of have to let know him will always be there for him by words( choose the right time to say it ) and by actions, send him little messages to ask how he is doing, if he has something doing you offer your help, even insist to help and after he says thanks tell him you meant it when you said you always be there for him ( just say it once you will know the right moment ) , share ideas don't use the oppressing tone that your always right. if is a decent guy he will realize he broke up with an awesome girl :-D.

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  • tell him to come back if he cares even a little for you.. and by the time if he comes back you should stop nagging forever and if he doesn't then you'll have to move on and let time heal the wounds!

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  • Love is a bridge girl. If one side of the bridge decides to break, then it ain't a bridge anymore.

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  • you're amazing... then why did he leave you ? :-O anyway figure that one out ;-)

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  • Good grief the girls a b***h listen to what she is saying sounds like non stop WHO would not go I think you are better off on your own at least until you get your aggression under control

    Oh one more thing do not belittle your self by begging someone to come back YOU ARE ABOVE THAT don't beg you start now were or when do you stop. Thank you for your time just this old farts opinion

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  • He's said it, you're only hoping that he realizes it's his mistake but you can't do anything about that...

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What Girls Said 9

  • Sorry to hear about that.

    People don't really change their minds that fast to be honest, I imagine that he's probably been thinking about this for along time (that's my assumption).

    To be honest and I know it's hard, I'd probably just give him space right now, like you said his head is wrecked so it might honestly just been that he needs some time on his own, he might come to realize during this time that he misses you and is still in love with you.

    I don't know what the issues you guys had together, but if it's possible maybe try working out where the arguments came from? Arguments aren't really a bad thing, every relationship has them and for the most part they are healthy but sometimes when they constantly keep coming up then they can ruin a relationship, so try thinking about that and seeing if you can come up with any solutions?

    But you must give him space now, trying to force someone back will only push them further away.

    Wish you all the best.

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    • Thank you for your response, I asked him only a week ago was he happy with me and was he sure he wanted to be with me and if he didn't to just say it not t lie to me and he replied saying I did make him happy and that of course he wanted to be with me.. so I gave him the chance and he never took it, can't help feeling like its because his friends are back around that I'm gne..it jst feels completly weird t b honest maks no sense,nd I knw his minds made up,jst wish there was something thin I cud do

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    • well ya things havnt exactly been de same , we not as close, but we still cared a lot for each other and he always told me he loved me everyday, I've just come to realise, I think the problems we encountered 2years ago were never really forgotten and I think we never really got over them so now after the pushing him its just come to de point were e wants to be on his own.. he's just been one dem guys I feel will always be there so its hard letting him go.. wish there was something I cud do!

    • You know it might be hard, but it might even be for the best. Firstly you guys might need time apart, from what you're saying it sounds like you've not been as close for 2 years now? So I'd say you guys need time apart, but sorry to say it but it might just be best if you split, unfortunately it's very rare for relationships that start when your 16 for them to last :/

      Sorry I couldn't help more.

      You can message me if you want to talk more.

  • It seems like you have a good idea about what you've done that's annoyed him, or maybe pushed things to this stage. (not saying he's been an angel, it takes 2 to argue right?) so think about that, and if you think there's a way you could get it under control. If you think so, just message him and be like I think I understand why you're upset I know I've done x, y, z to upset you but I really miss you and think we could fix this. It might be there are other reasons you don't know about that he broke up with you for. And although you probably don't want to think about it, you could try and ask him if there's anything else that's holding him back, perhaps meet and talk it through again calmly now that the dust has settled. It's hard to say, and there won't be a 'quick fix' but if you really want to make it work the best thing you can do it listen to him and try to understand why he wanted to break up, and see if you can figure out a way to move forward.

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  • honey he made it clear , what else do you want ? and you begged him? really? well the best thing is to move on , even though you said not to put this as an answer. but that's the right answer! move on , atleats he was honest .or would you prefer him being with you without even loving you and probably cheating? on the other hand , you can try talking to him and ask him if there's any hope of you guys being back together , or if you can have another chancce and if he says no THEN NO .dont beg him .you can't make him love you. ask him what made him not love you anymore maybe that can help .good luck

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  • I wouldn't take too seriously what the guys are saying, to be frank most of them have probably never been in a serious relationship, arguments happen, "nagging" happens, it's all perfectly healthy for the most part.

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    • thats for sure, its only natural .. they seemed fair angry in the comments :)

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    • so by reading the comments you have obtained hard facts on the degree relationship of guys ? wow impressive but your wrong...and a serious relationship doesn't mean is obviously a good one or a successful and happy relationship...

    • look (insanity) yeah your intitaled to your opinions but your opinions are not very good 1zif I'm honest... look we got together wen 16 I'm 22 now we obv out grew one another and just need time apart.. its nothing bout him hating me or thinking I'm dis or that.. I've never done anything wrong but love the guy... obv he still has some feelings for me.. after 6years he's bound to.. so stop saying I've aggression probs or I'm a bitch or whatever else ya wanna say.. I'm not!

  • I went exactly through this.. pls read my messages and keep in touch, I'd like to know what happens. your instincts about hsi friends influencing him are sound... mostly that is his support network that pumps him up in his head to cheat and wander.

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    • my comment below was too long so here's part 2, he was telling me how much he loved me and couldn't wait to spend de weekend with me that e was all mine and den bam 1fite and he gone and no turning back can't get my head round it.. I'm irish by the way

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    • ps: pls don't forget to click " show older comments" to see what I wrote here. I woudl have emailed this to you, but this needs to be out there for other women who are going throught he same thing. if you'd like to keep in touch outside of here too , pls feel free to message me or call me.

    • ok.. he is not cheating I just told you that already.. we have a lot of mutual friends and trust them very much I would know and plus I know this guy trust me he is not cheating.. can you stop saying he's cheating when I know 100% that he aint?

  • Yeah it's interesting how someone can just break up with you like that. Same thing happened to me and my boyfriend. He was unhappy and felt he was falling out of love with me, so he broke up with me. He's already with another girl and he just broke up with two weeks ago. Unfortunately, when a guy is confused about what he wants, talking to him isn't a good idea. You have to let him miss you. Give him some space and some time. It might make him realize that he really misses you. Or it might make him realize he was right to break up with you. Just give him time. After my boyfriend broke up with me, I constantly contacted him, which was a huge mistake. It just pushed him away farther and made him realize breaking up with me wasn't a mistake after all.

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  • In my experience...men seem to be a lot colder and find it easier to let go than we do! I'll never understand it but that seems to be the case! I was in a similar situation a few years ago...I just couldn't understand how his feelings could just change almost overnight! I think men, even if they are hurting and missing us will just go out with the boys and carry on...whereas we tend do think more deeply about things and analyse things over and over which makes it a lot harder for us to move on! Chin up though...I never thought I'd move on! But now I look back and realize it was for the best! :-)

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    • When you say that men seem to be colder and find it easier to let go, that is simply not true. It can go both ways. I can say in my experience, that every women I've been with seemed cold at the end and it was easy for them to let me go.

    • Oh, I also wrote a memoir about my relationship where my ex cheated on me. I had no "boys to carry on with," and I "thought deeply about things and analyzed it all," which helped me move on.

  • Nothing uncan do other then give him space that means NO texting him NO calling him

    Ext after 6 year I doute he has shut off all feeling I think there is some still there but you need to give him space or you could turn him away forever stop nagging so much that will also help

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  • I'm sure he still has feeling for you, and there is still love, but my only advice is to change with him and avoid the nagging tell him that you can show him that you can change the things he doesn;t like specially the one who made him make the decision of breaking up with you. Wait a few days and try talking to him about this.

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