Why did he disrespect me?

Well after one year of hanging out with him, I expressed that I didn't want to be a "booty-call/fwb/F-buddy", that after all this time my emotions were involved. Here is the exact tect I sent him ... "After 1year of this with you my emotions are involved & I want & deserve more! We have amazing chemistry & I enjoy our time together, but it sucks when I only hear from you every couple of weeks ya know? I do care for you & that's why I need to tell you this cause it's not cool ... It hurts my feelings. We used to send texts & have conversations, but now its just to get together & I don't like it ... When you leave I feel cheap & I blame myself cause I allowed it. When we first met, I told my sis I have a good feeling ... We met for good reason & I immediately felt comfortable with you. I'm not gonna lie ... This hurts a lot cause if this isn't going somewhere then I have to do what's best for me."

He replied ... "I'm so sorry I put you in this situation. I'm so sorry you feel this way ... I just came out of a relationship and I'm not ready for a new one. Maybe it's better if we went our separate way. Sorry"

I replied with "Is that what you want? I guess you do ... Good bye"

I was devastated cause after a year I didn't realize how much feelings I developed for him and when I open up to him he seemed sarcastic. Then yesterday he went into my bro-in-law's bar ... Why? To see his reaction if I told him, to be a cocky ahole? Why would he disrespect me like that ... At least that's how I felt. I'm just so sad ... Please give me more insight into this ... thx :)

So this is it ... What do you guys think he's thinking after getting that initial text from me? And subsequently the last one saying Good Bye! Can he regret & want to tell me he doesn't wanna "separate"?
Just sent to him.."First off I want you to know I don't blame you for what I feel I take responsibility for my choices in this. My intention with you was to open communication to see where we were after a yr. I wasn't implying marriage but at least treated like a woman & went out once in a while. To me it wasn't "F-buddy" status at all! I was just shocked with your "separate ways" reply cause it showed me that you saw me as disposable, that after 1yr I didn't matter other than sex. Is that how you saw me?
Update: He called me after I sent this last text, like 20min after. He apoligized for saying wanting too go separate ways,we agreed to stop the physical, start over with talking. Sounded decent & good, he told me he had an unfortunate situation happ to him like day before, td him if hee needs t/wants to vent/talk about it that "Im here!". He said "thanks sweetie" & that was almost 2weeks ago. I don't plan on texting/calling him going fwd ... His actions are being louud & clear ... His loss!


Most Helpful Guy

  • What are you talking about girl? You are the one dumping on him your problems and make it sound like he should feel guilty anout the way you feel. As I understand it you guys were FWBs and that's it. He replied to you in a respectful manner too. So I really don't see how you can accuse him of disrespecting you. He just doesn't feel the same way you do, and that doesn't make him a jerk or a**hole. It always seem to me that a lot of women tend to do that, whenever they feel bad they immediately act like the guy is an a**hole. Well he doesn't seem to be an a**hole to me.

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      I appreciate your honesty! I don't put any blame on him cause I allowed the casualness, I own up to my part. I just thought we were closer & when I read he thought it best to go separate ways I was shocked. I just wished he called to talk, not be so nonchalant. I guess this is it ... Have to walk away...

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      When you read my text to him I say I blame myself for feeling "cheap", I'm not putting 100% on him. After 1yr I wanted to see if this was going somewhere, not proposing marriage. I guess, regardless if I initiated text he could've rised above & called me. I want to believe he cared ... He never did!

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      Good, you both clearly are not on the same page, it's better for you both to have ended it amicably and leave it at that.