Boyfriend pressuring me to let him stay over?

We've been together for only 2 months, and its been a LDR for almost as long. He is coming to visit me, and wants me to let him stay a couple days at my college dorm. He initially expected me to let him sleep on the same bed, but would be okay with the couch. He will spend at least part of the time here staying at a hotel instead since I don't move-in until midway through his visit (and he is pretty loaded). I have said multiple times that this makes me very uncomfortable, and that its a cultural thing (I'm Asian). He says he understands, but is still pressuring me. I think from his experience, he thinks most people do let their boy/girl friends stay over and its not a big deal. Logically I guess there's nothing wrong with that, but I still feel very uncomfortable about it.

Should I let him? Please explain your answer if possible - anything at all would help, thanks!

  • Yes
    14% (1)0% (0)8% (1)Vote
  • No
    71% (5)33% (2)54% (7)Vote
  • Depends
    15% (1)67% (4)38% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi there. No you should not let him stay. My reason, there only needs to be one, you are not comfortable with it. End of story. This is a new relationship. If he is pressuring you now and does not know how to take no for an answer I don't know how you could expect for him to not be pushy in the future of your relationship. If he's loaded then there's no excuse why he can't stay at the hotel. "He thinks that most people do let their boy/girl friends stay over" that's great but you're not most people. You are you. Also since we know that money Is not an issue then there is only one reason left for him to be pushing something that makes you uncomfortable and he will be just as pushy once he is in your dorm room. Wish you the best.

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What Guys Said 4

  • C. Depends. Don't let him if you're really uncomfortable with it. Don't compromise your own, like, being at ease, just to let him be a bit happier. I personally don't see too much harm in letting him stay with you as long as he sleeps on the couch (assuming you're not ready for sex or anything yet and feel uncomfortable going too far with him and are worried he'll make advances), but if you're really not comfortable with that, he should be able to understand. (Just explain that for the moment you're uncomfortable with it but might open up to the idea with time. Try to be as non-offensive about it as possible.)

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  • He just wants sex..

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  • then let him go

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  • Do not be pressured into doing anything that you feel uncomfortable with.

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What Girls Said 3

  • HELL NO! He is pressing you and really in my mind wants one thing and one thing only... I know this because the guy I am seeing always jokes about having to sleep on the floor if and when he comes to visit me at school too. I told him couch, floor, or even air mattress or even hotel. Don't let him compromise your views... stick to your guns!

    Just think ... of the consequences of this.. that might help you pick out an answer.

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  • If you're not cool with it all you have to do is say no.you set your own limits so he needs to respect that.if he pressures you say the answer is no and you're done talking about it.set him straight

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  • Aww hell no, if you're uncomfortable - he should never stay over. The main thing is how you feel, and if you feel apprehensive or concerned about him spending the night, he NEVER should.

    Trust your gut instinct, your religion, or your culture, and never apologize for sticking by what you feel or believe :)

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