This guy and I have quite a strong bond, and started going out in July. It started off great. 2 weeks later was the school ball. I did an incredibly stupid thing and didn't want to dance with him, because I'm a shy and I don't like to dance in front of people.. it's awkward. But then a couple of friends dragged me onto the dance floor and I danced with them. I don't know why I did that! :( This pissed him off and he got hurt. I felt SO bad and was lucky enough to get a second chance.
But now I've gone and screwed up again.
Last night we somehow got talking about the subject of sex (I know for sure 100% that he is a good guy btw) and I said "I'm not ready but anyway I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that with someone who wasn't going to stick around long-term" and he agreed that he wouldn't either.
The thing is, we're in our last year of high school and will go to different universities next year. He told me he didn't want to try long-distance because it's too hard, people drift apart, get tired of it, wouldn't get to see each other in months-years, doesn't want me to feel like I'm using him, would be a burden to me" etc. Which is all very logical. But it hurt when he said "I think we should carry on now (non-sexual and getting along) and just stop at the end of the year and I'll let you go to ___ uni." It was like a definite "we'll be over soon" sign and I cried myself to sleep.
Today I told him "It felt like I got dumped last night and I've been walking around with this heavy feeling." he said last night he was going to send another text with a certain 3 words in it but chose not to. Before I left to get a tissue I wrote a note, "It feels like I'm going through a breakup 3 months before it's due. Literally "due." And those 3 words don't make sense in this situation."
When I came back, he said (about the 3 word 'i love you' thing) "You thought it was bullsh*t, 'didn't make sense'. And that hurts." And I said "No no no no I thought that when you love someone then you'd be willing to find a way to be with them no matter what, but it's just that you don't want to.. but I understand that you're trying to think logically about it." I guess we just have different definitions of love. Then we went outside and he said "If you feel uncomfortable with this relationship then you can change your relationship status on Facebook.. if you know what I mean" and he said I always make him feel uncomfortable and it's my fault again for bringing up the subject of our future next year, and we should have left that conversation til the end of the year. Is that fair?
So I can't even talk to him about long distance relationships? But I see it was bad that I didn't believe him at first that he loved me. He said "everything I do for you is based on those 3 words." I know he cares! But how can you say you love someone and then not care if you break up?
So I think I've... lost him? I don't know. It hurts like hell. What do I do?
Most Helpful Guy
This is a tough one. High school comes to an end and people enter a new chapter in their lives with college. However, just because sonething ends, it doesn't mean it's not worth fully experiencing while you're there. One of the characters in the first American Pie movie said something that's actually extremely relevant here. It was to the effect of, you establish a really strong bond with someone in high school and even though it won't last forever, isn't that a better way to have your first sexual experience than going to college and having it with someone after some frat party?
That was bang spot on as far as I'm concerned. I went out with my high school girlfiend for over a year and we never had sex. Biggest mistake in my life.0