What if your girlfriend/boyfriend decided that they didn't want to have sex anymore until marriage?

my girlfriend just told me this, kind of. she didn't say it definitely, but she has said that she's started to find her religion again, and is going to church a lot more now. She asked me how I would feel about it. I was honest, I said I'd still love her and I don't want to force anything she isn't comfortable with, but at the same time, I don't feel that way and about sex and Id want to keep doing it.

how would you react if that happened to you?

Updates:
oh, and, you've been with this person for a long time, but your not really old enough to get married

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It would be a relationship ender for me cause I don't ever want to get married.

    In your case I think you need to first assess if you're willing to wait, and for how long. If you are happy with your girlfriend, your relationship, and think there is potential for marriage down the road then maybe the benefits out weigh the costs. However if you don't think that no sex is going to work for you for however long you think you'll be waiting, then you need to talk with your girlfriend. Ultimately communication between you two for what BOTH of you want is what will determine if this will work. Before you have the sit down on this make sure you know where you stand with your needs and what you're willing to compromise on.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Personally I want to save myself for marriage, but if I didn't and I had a boyfriend who did I would think about whether or not I want to marry him. If I didn't I would be wasting both of our time by holding onto the relationship that was unsatisfying to me and unpromising to him. However, if I saw myself married to him someday, I would agree to the terms and carry on with the relationship.

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  • Id be OK with that, sex isn't worth breaking up a good relationship. I think if you really love her without the sex then you'll stick around and support her as best you can. Don't cheat, buy a big bottle of lotion, maybe see if she will compromise. It might even make your relationship stronger.

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  • Well... um... that's cool, I guess. I can certainly respect people with that level of self-control. But that's not for me. If my boyfriend pulled that out of the bag, I'd ask him if he was feeling okay, first of all, and then I'd try to talk him out of it. I know it seems kind of heartless, but I really couldn't be with someone who wouldn't give me that part of them.

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  • id say OK. no point getting upset about it. I either leave, or stay & say OK. its not like I have a say in what they decide to do with their body. & I would not leave someone over sex.

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  • Depends, what do you love more? sex or her?

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  • I've been with my boyfriend for two years and we won't be ready for marriage for at least five. And there's no sex here. I told him straight up that I wouldn't have sex before marriage. And he was okay with this. So I think he'd be okay.

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What Guys Said 3

  • This is not a rare situation. For sure, you won't be able to talk her out of this..and you'll regret it if you do, because she'll feel guilty about it and also eventually resent you more or less forever.

    So just ride with it! Or you'll likely lose her.

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  • It is through my own experience that I found a girl that did this. Everytime something went wrong or she "Lost her way" or was mad at her parents, the person two houses down, or whatever the reason, she fell off the NO SEX wagon. Then a few days or weeks later she found her way back onto the wedding till something else made her loose her way.

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  • Well really it depends how much you love them to be old enough to get married, just at least make it past 20 before deciding you want to do that though. And about your problem, personally I would be a little confused on what to think but what you do is based on how much you care about her, you can always tell her how you feel or just wait until marriage.

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