What would a good friend do? My friend is in love with someone, not her boyfriend.

I'll try to explain this the most comprehensible way I can. My friend who has a boyfriend of three years isn't in love with her boyfriend anymore but doesn't want to break up because of breakup guilt. She's in love with someone else but would never ever cheat. She tells me all about this problem of hers. It's all I hear from her and it's driving me nuts. Although I want to help her, I don't know what to say. I told her to break up with her current boyfriend and confess her feelings for the other guy. But she's so stubborn. Although I want to help her, I'm practical, impatient, and get sick of too much drama easily. What would a good friend do? What's the most ethical/moral solution? How can I say it in a polite manner?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Obviously she should just marry her boyfriend now and live miserably till she dies. Right?

    If not he should break up and he sooner the better.

    Ask her if she doesn't think her boyfriend deserves to be with someone who loves him? Every day he's with her he's missing chances to find someone else. She's wasting his life, not just her own. And she's not doing it to be nice to him. She's just too much of a coward to have the difficult talk. Pretending it's guilt and 'not wanting to hurt him' makes it seem okay. Call her out in it. She's actually screwing him (and herself) over our of fear. Time to be a big girl and do the right thing.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Ask her how she would feel if her she found out her boyfriend was only with her because the relationship was stable. He didn't love her or want her. Ask her if she would feel betrayed like her relationship was lie.She isn't saving her boyfriend from anything she's hurting him by living a lie and not allowing him to move on and find someone who will love him.

    If you don't mind pissing her off you could tell her boyfriend, but your friendship might be over and she won't have learned anything.

    IMO your friend sounds stupid and annoying

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  • Nothing you can do except be there for her and make sure she doesn't do anything too self- incriminating or damaging like cheating. Sometimes people need to move on becaus their partner isn't satisfying the needs they once did. Be the pillar that keeps her grounded. That's what a best friend would do.

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  • You can't really help her, just try to give her good reasoning.

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  • Um.

    "isn't in love with her boyfriend anymore but doesn't want to break up because of breakup guilt. "

    ^- Tell your friend she's a b**** for staying with a guy she doesn't love, then putting him even lower by saying it's because of guilt. She has no idea how insulting that is.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Best to just stay out of her business and let her sort it out.

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