Worried about boyfriend's mom?

A week ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years. It was a mutual break up which came about as the relationship dissolved to nothing. Mostly from lack of time together...Takes care of his mom, two houses to look after and a farm. But mainly because of incompatibility issues...not that I didn't love or care about him. Out of all his girlfriends I'm the only one his mom has took to or really like. I really care(d) about her too.

I know she is battling cancer issues again and the breakup was really bad timing...I know this is probably adding stress to her condition and I am very worried about her.

I know I have to take my space to get over the breakup, which by the way, even though mutual, still is painful.

I don't know what to do. I know I will pull though this but I am worried about causing her problems. Well, I am worried about him to...I know I will move on eventually after healing, but he has SO MUCH he is dealing with all at once...with no siblings or family to count on for support in any realm. I want him to pull through as well.

I know the breakup had to happen...I just am worried about the fall out.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think if you both made the decision knowing that his mom was already sick and still decided to move forward with the break up, the only thing you can do is move on, being around him and her is just going to make things complicated for both of you. I understand that she means something to you and you care for her , unfortunately she isn't your concern anymore.

    And even though she liked you too, she old enough to understand that a vreak is a break up and we all might be broken now but can pull it off with time. Plus have you though about the future, once she gets better are just going to move on after that? why prolong things, your main concern should be yourself, all of you are adults and can move forward

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What Guys Said 2

  • This is a trapped from everyside situation! all you can do is tell your ex and by tell I mean explain that what his mother means to you and how you'd like to be with her or spend time with her, take care of her.. request him to allow you to be with her. tell him you cared about her and just because of your mutual breakup caring about her doesn't become any less ! all the best!

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  • I'm sure his mother understands that sometimes things don't work out.

    Like you said, it had to happen. Don't worry about adding stress to her life too much. If you really feel like doing something, you could always occasionally visit her, but I don't know if this would be too inconvenient or uncomfortable for either of you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • There is nothing stopping you visiting her, maybe once a week or something? Even if you've broke up, you said it was mutual, things don't need to be awkward around you that you need to avoid each other (ie can't visit her because of being worried of running into him).

    You could even say that you'll spend some time with her for a day as to give him a break? If he's doing that much it sounds like sometimes he could use a break.

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