Hey, girls I'd like your thoughts. Presently I'm trying to help mend ...

the broken heart of someone I love. I've been trying to woo her in not very subtle ways. That is to say I've never approached her as 'just a friend' but clearly as someone who likes her. It's been almost 18 months of effort and she would never state that she had a boyfriend. Now it's been about two months since she broke up with him and she's sharing personal thoughts with me. This is quite a change considering I could never get more than five sentences out her. All I have to do is say, "Como estas" (She's Latina.) and she just starts spewing about how she feels. She tells me how she's weak, now constantly worrying and how she's just about ready collapse and quit---meaning suddenly just move on from the break-up. I don't give her advice because I'm afraid it could put me in the 'friend zone'. So I give her my personal experience about learning to be a worry wort through my mother. That I would constantly over-think matters and wind up with a stomach ache from so much worrying. (She said that's just what's she's doing at the moment.) Things would always work out and I'd realize that I worried so much over nothing. I told her that I'm always here for her. She talks about how she's so depressed and can't work so fast any more and can't smile yet it's been easy for me to get her to smile by amusing her. I'd like to hear from you girls if I can help her mend and not suddenly become 'just a friend'. I don't care about a possible rebound relationship. I'll settle for any amount of time I can have with her.---Thanks


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What Girls Said 2

  • JUST CAME ACROSS THIS POST. NORMALLY DON'T RESPOND TO THEM. HOWEVER YOUR POST ISN'T OVER A DAY OLD HOPEFULLY YOU WILL RETURN TO READ MY RESPONSE PLUS YOU SEEM IN NEED OF GOOD ADVICE. I FEEL THE 2ND POST IS GOOD ADVICE

    READING UR POST I FEEL YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD HER FROM THE START UR

    INTERESTED IN GETTING TO KNW HER ON AN INTIMATE LEVEL. INSTEAD YOU

    ALLOWED HER TO PUT YOU IN THE FRIEND ZONE WHICH You DON'T WANT BUT

    NOW IT'S TO LATE, YOU TYPED YOU'LL ACCEPT ANYTIME You CAN GET HA!

    NOW You CAME OFF AS DESPERATE! BY MAKING YOURSLF TOO AVALIABLE

    FOR HER. YOU ALSO TYPED You DN'T CARE ABOUT HAVING A REBOUND

    RELATIONSHIP BUT YOU SHOULD

    HERE'S WHY : YOU WANT A SERIOUS HEALTHY LASTING RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, THAT WILL NOT OCCUR IF YOU FOOLISHY ALLOW A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP TO START.

    SHE JUST ENDED A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY SHE LOVES. SHE NEEDS TIME TO GRIEVE, MEND HER HEART & BE SINGLE FOR A WHILE.

    SO SHE WILL NOT CARRY BAGGAGE TO HER NEXT RELATIONSHIP.

    SHE'LL HAVE A FRESH HEALTHY START HOPEFULLY WITH YOU.

    IT'S IMPORTANT YOU REALIZE YOUR SELFWORTH ONLY THEN WILL OTHERS.

    AT YOUR AGE (NO PON INTENDED) YOU SHOULD FEEL YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE

    YES YOU LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH HER MAYBE YOU'VE ALLOWED

    YOURSELF TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HER. BUT YOU SHOULD WANT THOSE

    FEELINGS RETURNED YOU SHOULD WANT TO BE RESPECTED, APPRECIATED

    AND VALUED. YOU DON'T WANT ALL THE TIME YOU SPEND WITH HER TALKING ABOUT HER EX.

    MANYTIMES IN LIFE WE GET WHAT WE ALLOW. I WISH YOU THE BEST

    REMEMBER WE GET WHAT WE ALLOW. SO STOP ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE PUT IN THE FRIEND ZONE WHEN YOU WANT A RELATIONSHIP

    TAKE ACTION!

    GOOD LUCK

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  • She's clearly attatched to this guy as she seems to be ignoring your advances... does she want you to respect that and remain a friend or does she not mind?

    Just give her good things to think about, remind her of what's good and what things she can look forward to because she's probably going to be dwelling on her past.

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    • As I said, she broke up with him. "does she want you to respect that and remain a friend?" She had never addressed that with me. The many times I broke her personal space went without objection.

    • It doesn't seem like she's considering you at all. It's good that you're there for her but I'm not sure if she appreciates it and who you are.

      But yeah, like I said, if you're hoping for something to happen just make sure you remind her of all the good stuff and hopefully she'll come out of that slump and notice you.

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